5 Secrets to Long-Lasting Marriage Nobody Told You About; Relationship Expert Shares
- A Nigerian lady whose marriage is on the verge of collapsing has sought advice on how to avert the situation
- Her husband has been mistreating her, and he has already announced his decision to file for divorce in court
- Peace Onwubu, a qualified relationship expert, shared great tips on how to make your marriage last long
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An anonymous married woman asked:
"It has been three years since I and my husband began having serious issues that have been threatening the peace of my marriage.
"I am not happy. I feel like a stranger in my own home. Nothing about me makes my man happy. He comes home with a straight face and only talks to the kids while I stay there like a nanny. He has been threatening to dissolve our marriage and I still love him so much.
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"I cannot imagine live without him despite the way he treats me. But I don't want this for us. I want to make this work and return my man to the person he used to be. Please how can I make my marriage last?"
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Peace Onwubu is a certified relationship expert who has handled lots of marital cases.
1. Learn to respect him
Men love being respected. It makes them feel they are in the right place and appreciated. They love having their egos massaged. Don't disrespect him with words or do things that would bring disrespect to your husband.
Marriage cannot be extended and sweet if you always use demeaning words on him during fights or even on regular occasions.
Of course, there must be fights in all relationships, but you need to bridle your tongue. You are talking to your man. Be emotionally intelligent. Present your argument wisely and without cursing.
2. Sing his praises in the presence of your children
One way to strengthen your marriage is to create a safe, comfortable, lively bond between family members.
Sing your husband's praises in the ears of his children. Let them know that their father is a king. Praise him before them and settle issues privately without involving the kids. If the children begin to find out that there are issues, the home starts getting divided unless you want it to.
3. Effective communication
Never leave issues pending. Discuss. Discuss. Discuss. Discuss always. If he frowns, ask what's wrong. If you sense any abnormality, ask.
While you expect him to communicate with him, do well to also communicate with him.
Tell him your problems. Tell him what you observed, and listen to what he says. Resolve issues amicably. If you need five hours to talk, create that time and clear things out. Lack of communication has ruined many marriages.
4. Understanding
Build an excellent level of understanding with your partner. Always be more conscious about his positive side rather than the flaws. Don't always focus on the wrong things or what he's not doing right.
Give him breathing space, and sometimes try to see things from his perspective. Understanding your partner, acknowledging his flaws, and genuinely trying to reduce them rather than mocking him for having flaws would help immensely.
5. Trust
All working marriages need a high level of trust. A marriage not built on trust or lacking trust cannot stand well. You might be in the marriage but not enjoying it. You need to trust each other and not do things to break that trust.
Couple celebrate 50th wedding anniversary
Meanwhile, Legit.ng previously reported that a couple identified as Mr and Mrs Gafai celebrated their wedding anniversary after tying the knot on Thursday, June 25, 1970.
The love between the couple kept them going for five decades, and their granddaughter took to social media to celebrate the lovebirds who had spent 50 years together.
Proofread by Kola Muhammed, journalist and copyeditor at Legit.ng
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