"I Found Out My Wife is Owner of Rent House We Live in, Should I Stay or Go”: Psychologist Advises

"I Found Out My Wife is Owner of Rent House We Live in, Should I Stay or Go”: Psychologist Advises

  • A man found out his wife is the owner of the house they have been living in for more than five years
  • He is torn by the realisation and seeks a solution on how the best and most practical approach to all of this
  • Victory Wilson, an expert and psychologist, offers a fresh perspective on the issue with a practical response

An anonymous asked:

"I found out my wife is the owner of the rental house we live in. This was a painful realisation yet I am caught in a dilemma. Should I continue paying rent, divorce her or confront her for keeping it a secret?”

Keeping secrets can affect trust, create communication gaps, and lead to misunderstandings.

The stress of harbouring secrets can strain the relationship and increase anxiety for the secret-keeper.

Read also

"My fiancée asked me to join her because she has a bigger apartment," Relationship coach advises

The husband seeks advise on what to do
The husband gets advice from a psychologist. Photo credit: Getty Images. For illustration purposes only. Depicted person has no relationship with the event described in the material.
Source: Getty Images

Resentment may grow over time, weakening the marital bond and unity. Manipulation through secrets can be damaging and is viewed negatively.

Wilson provides an answer to the man’s question about his wife’s secrecy.

Victory Wilson is a Psychologist with over 5 years of experience in marital conversations and issues.

First things first

I would advise them to sit down and have a candid conversation about it. It is going to be a difficult conversation to have but it is a starting point towards an amicable solution.

Implication moving forward

From a psychological point of view, the implication of what the wife did is that the trust in the relationship has been broken to a point where it is hard to redeem. The best avenue for the trust to be revived in the relationship is if there is a strong reason for the woman to heed that from her husband.

Read also

"I earn more than my hubby, should I ask him to stay at home and take care of kids?" Expert advises

After having the needed conversation, if they do not reach an amicable agreement, they could take it a step further by scheduling a session with a therapist.

Can both parties decide to stay in the marriage?

Such marriage can continue. There are several incidents where the worst have happened, and the couple weather the storm, and trials and come back together stronger. All in all, the success of this marriage moving forward depends, first, on how well they are able to discuss this and arrive at an amicable solution with or without a therapist. First, they need to understand the attributes that inspired the woman’s secrecy. The “why” needs to be convincing to the husband; this is very important.

If there is no cogent why, the husband may be left with no choice but to move out of the marriage, sadly. This may be the best solution, as failure to do this may lead to unimaginable abuse in the marriage. A marriage where there is no trust needs not to continue. I hope this helps.

Read also

Woman shares about new polygamy system where wife allows hubby to marry richer woman

My marriage is falling apart; what can I do?

Meanwhile, Legit.ng previously reported that a married man is unhappy that his marriage is falling apart and wants to make it work again.

He indicates that his love for his wife is no longer the same and seeks an urgent solution that will lead to a lasting impact.

Ola Moses, a relationship expert with 5 years of experience, advises him and gives him a detailed solution.

Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers' decisions about solving issues of threats. Readers should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any decision.

Do you have a story to tell? Want an expert's advice? Please email us at ask.an.expert@corp.legit.ng with 'Ask an expert' in the subject line.

Source: Legit.ng

Authors:
Basit Jamiu avatar

Basit Jamiu (Editor) Basit Jamiu is a journalist with more than five years of experience. He is a current affairs and politics editor at Legit.ng. He holds a bachelor's degree from Ekiti State University (2018). Basit previously worked as a staff writer at Ikeja Bird (2022), Associate Editor at Prime Progress (2022), and Staff Writer at The Movee (2018). He is a 2024 Open Climate Fellow (West Africa), 2023 MTN Media Fellow, OCRP Fellow at ICIR, and Accountability Fellow at CJID. Email: basit.jamiu@corp.legit.ng.