“What Should I Do When Conflict Arises in My Relationship?”: Expert Advises

“What Should I Do When Conflict Arises in My Relationship?”: Expert Advises

  • Marital conflict arises from the union of individuals with distinct backgrounds and expectations, leading to issues like unmet expectations
  • Common triggers include financial stress, parenting challenges, and differing values or goals
  • Resolution is possible through joint effort and strategies provided by experts like relationship coaches

An anonymous asked:

“I have been married for exactly 5 years now. My wife and I had a great relationship but over the years those relationships seemed to be shrinking due to several conflicts arising on a daily basis. How should I go about resolving conflicts in my marriage without escalating it? What should I do when conflict arises in my relationship?”

Conflict in marriage is a common occurrence, as it brings together individuals with unique backgrounds, values, and expectations.

Some likely causes of marital conflict are unmet expectation, communication breakdown, financial management, parental stress, and more.

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illustrated photos of couples in conflict
Expert shares how to resolve conflicts. Photo credit: Getty Images. For illustration purposes only. Depicted person has no relationship with the event described in the material.
Source: Getty Images

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Whatever the dynamics of conflict in the relationship, one thing remains certain, there is a solution for couples who are willing to work on it together. Ola Moses, a relationship coach, gave insight on how to resolve conflict.

Ola Moses is a Certified Life and Relationship Coach from the Academy of Modern Applied Psychology, Scotland.

Braving stormy sea

Navigating conflict in a relationship can feel like braving a stormy sea, but it's vital to remember that misunderstandings are a natural part of any partnership. When not properly attended to, they can brew into destructive conflicts, threatening the very fabric of your connection. To prevent misunderstandings from evolving into turmoil, couples must embrace several critical strategies.

Resist temptation

First and foremost, resist the temptation to win arguments at any cost. Instead of fixating on being right, prioritize ensuring that both partners feel heard and respected. Remember Dale Carnegie's wisdom: in every argument, someone wins and someone loses, but the toll on the relationship far outweighs any fleeting victory.

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When conflict emerges, resist the urge to make hasty decisions in the heat of the moment. Take a step back, allow emotions to cool, and revisit the issue with clarity and calmness. The true test of a relationship lies not in weathering the storm but in navigating the peace afterward.

During conflicts, it's easy to lose sight of the issue and resort to personal attacks. However, maintaining focus on resolving the problem rather than attacking each other's character is essential for preserving mutual respect and trust. Approach conflicts with patience, empathy, and a commitment to understanding, transforming misunderstandings into opportunities for deeper connection and growth.

Avoid escalating tensions

Additionally, raising one's voice during conflict only amplifies the discord. Avoid escalating tensions by speaking calmly and respectfully. Volume doesn't equate to understanding; strive to communicate effectively rather than seeking dominance.

Communication isn't complete until your partner truly understands your message. Seek to be understood, avoiding the temptation to force comprehension. Blame, criticism, and defensiveness only breed resentment. Instead, focus on discussing matters and finding compromises that honor both parties' perspectives.

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Shift towards commons grounds

Be willing to shift toward common ground, even if it means sacrificing some personal desires. Empathy and compromise pave the way for resolution and harmony. Seeking professional help during tumultuous times is not a sign of weakness but a proactive step toward preserving the relationship. Whether through a relationship coach or trusted confidants, seek guidance from those with expertise and impartiality.

Remember, relationships require nurturing and understanding. Embrace these strategies, and may your journey be one of growth, love, and mutual respect. If you need support, reach out to a professional for guidance. Not all spiritual leaders are trained to handle salient matters like this, some speak based on sentiment, their perspective or even experience. Seek a professional and you will be glad you did.

What can I do to save my marriage?

Meanwhile, Legit.ng earlier reported that a married man is unhappy that his marriage is falling apart and wants to make it work again.

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He indicates that his love for his wife is no longer the same and seeks an urgent solution that will lead to lasting impact

Ola Moses, a relationship expert with 5 years of experience, advises him and gives him a detailed solution

Source: Legit.ng

Authors:
Basit Jamiu avatar

Basit Jamiu (Editor) Basit Jamiu is a journalist with more than five years of experience. He is a current affairs and politics editor at Legit.ng. He holds a bachelor's degree from Ekiti State University (2018). Basit previously worked as a staff writer at Ikeja Bird (2022), Associate Editor at Prime Progress (2022), and Staff Writer at The Movee (2018). He is a 2024 Open Climate Fellow (West Africa), 2023 MTN Media Fellow, OCRP Fellow at ICIR, and Accountability Fellow at CJID. Email: basit.jamiu@corp.legit.ng.