How To Heal from Heartbreak Fast in 7 Days: Relationship Expert Speaks
- A Nigerian lady suffering intense heartbreak sought advice on how to heal from the pain as fast as possible
- Heartbreaks that trail the end of a once blossoming relationship are usually intensive for each party involved
- Peace Onwubu, a renowned relationship guru, shared some ways to heal very quickly from heartbreak
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An anonymous asked:
"I have been in so much pain since my relationship ended. I have been dating Michael for eight years. Eight long years dedicated to this relationship and he called it quits because his mother brought another girl for him.
"I knew she never liked me all these years but I thought she would come over it later in the future. Mike has always been defending me and I'm heartbroken that he finally yielded to his mother's resentment for me. He offered to pay me off but I disagreed. I only want my man.
"I feel like I have no reason to live anymore. I'm gradually becoming a shadow of myself. Please help me. How do I heal as fast as possible?"
Lexi Joondeph-Breidbart, LMSW, a licensed social worker who spearheads an eight-week breakup support group called Lonely Hearts Club confirmed that “breakups cause an intense amount of grief."
According to a therapist and relationship expert, Dr. Wise, the grief we feel after every breakup also intensifies because our brains believe that relationships are necessary for survival.
Source: Getty Images
Peace Onwubu is a certified relationship expert and therapist who has helped people especially women in their numbers to break free from relationship trauma and obsession for the wrong men.
Heartbreaks affect physical and emotional wellbeing
Heartbreaks are really painful and disastrous, especially for first-time lovers. That's when you see a gorgeous person change into a shabby-looking person because he/she got dumped by a man she thought would take her to the altar.
For some, it could lead to low self-esteem and then depression and then some begin to contemplate ending it all. That's what happens when they are still so fragile, weak, and unable to put themselves first. Especially for first-time lovers.
Can heartbreak be healed?
Of course, it can and very fast too if you are ready. My last failed relationship before I got married took only four days to heal. Some people move on immediately after they drop that breakup call. They just say 'okay it's over' and move on. Especially the experienced ones in relationships.
They no longer go into relationships with the mindset that 'it is forever'. No. They bear in mind that anything can happen and when it does, I should find a new path. That's how to survive in a world of uncertainties.
It doesn't mean you won't love the person. You should love with all your heart and care for your lover but guard your heart while at it. And most importantly love yourself.
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You can heal in even one week if you put your mind to it. Although it might not be the case with everyone but trust me, you don't need to waste three long months crying over a person who doesn't need you. It's all in the mind. Love yourself and be ready to prove it with your actions. There's no limit to what a person can do once you are ready.
Before beginning any therapy, I always ask my clients 'are you ready to do what is necessary?' cause most times you give an instruction and they refuse to do it because they still crave the attachment to someone they want to forget.
How can that work? You need to take a definite stand. That's the first process of healing. Be sure you want to break free and be determined if not you cannot achieve that.
Block all contact; first step to heal
After a severe heartbreak, I always advise my clients to block all contact with this person first, delete numbers and focus on yourself. It's not hard if you have healthy self-esteem and love yourself.
The problem is people want to forget a person and heal but they're not ready to do what it takes. You tell them 'delete his number' and they say no I can't do that. My heart can't take it. So why did you come to me? I'm a therapist, not a magician.
A client told me she can't delete his number because she thinks he would call back and she still wants to watch his WhatsApp status to be sure he's fine. But you want to heal from this person. Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you still hanging on? You need to help yourself too.
You can't remain in contact and be hoping to heal fast from a heartbreak. The first-timers are always the most affected because they place everything about them on the relationship. Their heart, body and soul. Now they feel their world is falling apart.
Build yourself, focus on improving your self-esteem
Focus your attention towards building healthy self-esteem and learning to set standards and boundaries for yourself.
Those with low self-esteem suffer so much heartbreak because they always blame themselves even when it's glaring that their lovers are the evil ones.
They just believe it was their fault. They want to beg this person for forgiveness at all times. It doesn't work that way. Don't judge yourself so negatively. Be kind to yourself.
Being in love doesn't mean you should be so fragile. You can love and still set healthy standards and boundaries for yourself.
This is the reason I don't advise people especially ladies with low self-esteem to get into relationships. It's always a mess. Build your self-esteem and understand yourself before going into a relationship. Know what you want and what you don't. Don't succumb to everything your partner wants because he wants it even if it's killing you. That's not healthy because the day you don't do what he says, there will be a huge problem.
Focus on yourself, get new hobbies
Focusing on your hobbies and interests is a great way to let go of whoever made you cry. Make sure you have blocked contact and try not to think about this person. It won't help you. Once he crosses your mind, shove that feeling off.
That thing you've always wanted to do, that hobby you want, it's time to focus on it. Build yourself and in a short while, someone better will come your way.
Have a story to tell? Need an expert's advice? Feel free to reach out to us at ask.an.expert@corp.legit.ng with "Ask An Expert" in the subject line.
Lady shattered as boyfriend ends relationship
Meanwhile, Legit.ng previously reported that a Nigerian lady cried profusely after her relationship crashed just seven days before Valentine's day.
The lady identified as @yusrah507 on TikTok lamented that her boyfriend suddenly ended their relationship for no definite reason.
In the emotional video, she was seen crying with her phone in her hands while calling on her sister to come home and read the breakup message. The video sparked lots of reactions from netizens who stormed the comments section to console the lady.
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Source: Legit.ng
