"I Lose Sleep to Speak to My Mother": Experience of Nigerian PhD Student Who Left Nigeria for the First Time
Idowu Odeyemi, a Nigerian doctoral student in the US, talked about his adjustment to a new culture, his longing for his family, and his passion for his field of study
Unlock the best of Legit.ng on Pinterest! Subscribe now and get your daily inspiration!
Idowu Odeyemi, a Nigerian doctoral student in Philosophy at the University of Colorado Boulder, shared his experience of living abroad for the first time.
He left Nigeria in August 2022 to pursue his academic goals and to access better educational resources.
Source: Original
He said he was amazed by the kindness of his professors and colleagues in Boulder, which contrasted with the faux mode of respectability he observed in Nigeria.
He also reflected on how love as a state of being can bridge the divisions and separations in society.
PAY ATTENTION: Follow us on Instagram - get the most important news directly in your favourite app!
He admitted that being away from his family was hard, especially since he was an introvert and a clown in his family.
He said he had to adjust his sleeping and social habits to cope with the distance and the loneliness.
In a detailed conversation with Legit.ng, Yemi started by speaking about the first time he traveled out of Nigeria:
"The first time I traveled out of Nigeria was in August 2022 when I left for my doctoral studies at the University of Colorado Boulder. Before then, I did not have any reason to travel out of Nigeria."
On his experience moving out for the first time, he said:
"The experience, so far, has been awesome. For instance, in Boulder, the kindness of my acquaintances mesmerizes me. Coming from Nigeria, I find it astonishing when a professor in my Department offered to pick me up at the airport when he heard that I have never been to the United States. Or when my potential advisor invited me to his house and he cooked dinner while I pressed my phone. You'll agree with me that my feeling of astonishment is valid."
Yemi also touched on the importance of kindness:
"The professor coming to pick me up goes a long way in telling me that I am not alone even if I feel alone; that there are people I cannot run to since I have no family here but there are people that are willing to offer their hands in places that might truly matter. And to be honest with you, Basit, these small kindnesses matter in ways that people don't think about."
On educational resources as the contributing factor for moving, Yemi said:
"I decided to leave Nigeria when I got admitted into a Ph.D. program. And that is why I decided to leave. Also, the educational resources that I feel might be available here and unavailable in Nigeria were a contributing factor."
On family, Yemi said:
"My family misses me more than I miss them. (Laughs.) Even though I am considered somewhat of an extreme introvert by many, (for instance, someone in my Department said she never knew I could talk when I anchored the Black Excellence Dinner of my school), I am also my family clown.
"I am the guy in the family that makes everyone laugh. I also have a dark sense of humor that my family has come to appreciate. So sometimes, I exploit their vulnerabilities to make a joke. They laughed but they never always know who is next so they try not to laugh too much. But no one escapes Idowu's Humorous Party. So when I left, everyone attempted to tear my eardrum with how much they missed my clownish character."
Yemi acknowledged that it is difficult to be away from family.
He told Legit.ng:
"Being away from my family, of course, is hard. I have had to stay awake to talk to them. Some days ago, my sweetheart was telling me about how much I need to leave my shell and try new things (and by new things she meantt that I should go out, talk to people, go bowling, hike, etc.). After that conversation, I thought about it and I think being away from my family contributed greatly to my social attitude.
"During my first year in the United States, all I did was leave my house by 9:30 am, go to school (both weekdays and weekends), then go back home by 11 pm. There is something the feeling of nearby affection (either familial or romantic) does to our attitude and the lack of it, I believe, is kind of responsible for my social domicility. The conversations with R have been illuminating (even in ways she does not know): I have learned that as an expat you cannot rely solely on something or some people to move you, you have to be the cause of your own gaiety; the originator of your own enchantment. Reflecting on it, that isn't an enormous price to pay."
On late night calls from family:
"Yes. My mother especially. And I give her that access since she misses me a lot. I miss her too. She has been my only friend since I was a kid. It also poses a great disadvantage because I don't get enough sleep and there is that urge to catch up with her and everything that might be going on at home."
Adapting to the environment has been easy, Yemi said:
"It hasn't been really hard. Or not even hard at all. They are people with a different sense of meaning; a different sense of culture; a different sense of understanding. And like I said previously, I am a pluralist so I have never had a hard time understanding people for who they are or what they do because, at the end of it all, we are just one: We are atoms floating in an unintelligible universe, creating meaning in a universe whose existence is futile.
"Maybe the only thing that has been hard to do is trying to make them understand me. You know? Take for instance, the Yoruba word "iyawo" (this is the only genuine example I can think of right now) is used to denote both a girlfriend and a wife. So when I use the word "wife" to denote "girlfriend" the gaze upon me is one of disapproval.
"A lot of such instances of failed communicative exchanges are because of the indirect way of using language in Yoruba and the very direct American way. Deducing meaning from a communicative exchange is audience dependent in Yoruba culture. In America, in a communicative exchange, meaning is hugely speaker-dependent."
Nigerian lady who moved abroad to study recounts 5 years in Scotland
Meanwhile, Legit.ng earlier reported that Five years ago, Aisha, a young Nigerian student boarded a one-way flight to Edinburgh, Scotland, to pursue her dream of studying architecture at the prestigious Edinburgh University.
She had no idea what to expect from her new life in a foreign country, but she was determined to overcome any challenges that came her way.
She had worked hard in high school, studying in Nigeria and Ghana and achieving excellent grades.
Source: Legit.ng
