Why Do People Walk Away from the Church? Who Is at Fault? By Keith A. Little (Part 2)
Editor's note: This article is a continuation of Keith A. Little’s exploration of why people walk away from the Church. In Part 2, the Christian apologist deepens his reflection on faith, truth, and love, calling readers to consider the power of perseverance, healing, and personal responsibility in a broken world. He invites us to rebuild with intention, confront hardship with compassion, and choose truth even when it is costly.
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Christianity would look to repair and grow people’s goodwill and character so the community could grow, rather than having people abandon a community because there are people without good character. We trust, have faith, and great hope to eventually lead and grow out of these sinful pains in the world for all of humanity. In that hope, we choose to take on a burden (cross) to do so for each other and with each other. We also accept that sometimes society will believe lies are able to force personal solutions and ideas more than the truth within love, and the Christians need to be prepared to rebuild back on the solid ground of truth, with worn-out tools as the fall of pride is an eventuality.
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I cannot stop a businessperson from taking a shortcut that causes cancer in human beings due to bad and cheaper materials that he, she, or someone in a company chose to use. But I can choose, in the pursuit of justice and love, to help create better policies to care for the afflicted and help build a future where it might not happen again. This is the pursuit while we are on this earth, for us to subdue the earth so that all souls have the opportunity to be healed and let go of the pain caused by personal sins against each other, to pursue a life of healing others in hopes to sin no more.
Ever a felt need for us to ask God why we are here, or why He allows such pain in the world to exist? Is it a call and opportunity He has placed us in to do something about it? Even Christ (God Himself) had to pay an earthly painful price to stand up to injustice and teach us how to do so in a loving way without compromising integrity. So, God did do something about it, and He places us in similar situations to continue to work to make the world a better place for all. If society chooses to say that we make up our own God, will I also be able to claim that coal is a healthy addition to a balanced diet, simply because I believe or tell people that it is? Or is it that the truth of adhering to good nutrition (as affordable) for nurturing our bodies plays a vital role in being a good loving steward of our body? Are we able to define such truths, or must we submit to seek them out and discipline in adhering to them, if we desire a healthy body? What about a healthy mind? Would the dentist with the irritability be more at ease if he released control over whatever was bothering him and trusted God (truth and love working with and through other people and all of reality) to manage it?
So whether or not people want to believe that God loves us so much that He entered into the world and chose to die at the hands of those sinning while refusing to deny the truth, taking on punishment for crimes He didn’t commit to show people a loving way to confront sin in the world. It is difficult to disprove the joy one feels when sacrificing to do something righteous for someone else, or how the love of a parent, friend, or neighbor impacts their lives when people sacrifice to help or lead each other through hardship. It is difficult to disprove the joy found when people help each other through sin in their lives and when they feel fulfillment in their lives for doing so.
It is hard to say to any human being that the Holy Spirit is not working when it's simple to witness such love come from actions of people submitting to do deeds in love while choosing to recognize that lies and conforming to lies cannot produce true care for the person who is left to accept them as true.
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A child does not feel fulfilled by demanding candy from their parent at a grocery store. They feel joy and honor in receiving the candy when their parents tell them they have earned it for being good. This is not something new in psychology, or otherwise. Human beings are inherently inclined to act virtuously, seek truth, and foster mutual respect and care when they witness the joy, it produces. This comes from accepting that there is truth, and yes, there is absolutely such a thing as absolute truth. Denying truth or denying grace when people are learning to walk within truth and love, cannot produce long lasting good in people, society, and day-to-day life. Intentional actions in deception or lack of care destroy what could have been an opportunity for something good to grow. We are born into a broken world, but we are also here to do our best to fix things. When faced with a crisis of faith or in our church and church life, we have an opportunity to choose to do good and be of goodwill to help others and have a positive impact or walk away.
Love is not something physically, tangible, and neither is truth necessarily. However, when constructing a building, it is important to care for the foundation, plumbing, electrical system, and overall planning. Neglect can compromise the stability and longevity of the structure. When a building is not habitable, useful, or maintained properly, what good is it? If we build and take great care of what we build, it is quite possible that someone else might come along and build onto it and build more and better. Jesus said we would need to continue His work long after His time on earth. Even if a building ends up constructed with less care than required and needs to be rebuilt, learning from those mistakes can lead to constructing more efficient and improved buildings in the future. So even as we have hardships in life, God does not necessarily waste an ounce of our suffering. We get to choose if we are going to take an experience that we have and be bitter about it and never build again, or if we are going to choose to build better next time and let go of our mistakes of the past. The decision to pursue learning, growth, and support others in their development is central to addressing the spiritual needs of society today. These efforts align with the essential works advocated by the Catholic Church. What good does teaching forgiveness do if one acts upon vengeance in their life?
I do not need to understand everything to know that seeking truth and love, rather than judging quickly, can lead to better solutions. Patience will often yield solutions from within us, others, and unexpected places. I do not always know what a thing is or what it’s for, but if I’m willing to suspend my own need to judge, I might be able to see if I have the opportunity or if someone could have the opportunity to provide a solution or seek one.
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One person will see broken people in the church, as a reason to leave. Other people might see broken people in the church as a reason to stay and make an impact. One person might focus on judging things as they are, whereas another is focusing on how things could be better and how they can help to get there.
Neither is necessarily wrong, as based on the judgment we choose we also pre-determine part of the outcome, and in this way, our reality is constantly a co-creation with God. Our world is broken, and it requires work as an effect of sin, we are all sinners, and we will all mess up at times as we learn to do better. A person who envisions solutions and builds the future with faith will find hope and motivation to continue despite incomplete circumstances. While others see the sin and determine there is no hope for a solution. Whether or not people have solutions to their problems (like cancer as example) now, our hearts yearn for them. The problems create suffering, and without love and care to seek and be within a solution… suffering continues. Yet, maybe when one person witnesses hurt though, it inspires other people to act lovingly in response. Witnessing the outcome of standing up for truth in love by someone they know… and over a long length of time, inspires people to do the hard thing to confront sin lovingly. In this way, Jesus dying on the cross both for and because of the sins of others will eventually lead the whole world to heal.
Even the oldest trees need to endure storms and seasons and must be rooted in soil free of stones and weeds to get essential nutrients. How could we demand that God take away the world’s problems, without us also participating in cleaning up our mess and teaching others to do the same? Is God (truth and love) meant to be a servant of our world? Or does God hope for greater things from us, as a good parent, teacher, or coach hopes from those they discipline in, with, by, and for fulfilling a true and good purpose in love?
So, who is at fault for people walking away from God or the Church? Ask each individual and be genuine in caring about them, their experience, and response. Look for the personal reasoning that is driving their decision, and do not feel obligated to address it. As a great mentor told me once, “How did I know my dad loved me? He showed up to my games.” The most impactful influences in our lives are not those who dictate to us how we should be, but rather those who consistently demonstrate through their actions how to live a good life.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Legit.ng.
Keith A. Little is a US-based Christian apologist and an honorary professor at the Pontifical Catholic University of America, dedicated to presenting Jesus as the Unified Field Theory through parables and principles.
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