"My Fiancée Asked Me to Join Her Because She Has a Bigger Apartment," Relationship Coach Advises
- A young Nigerian man has been told by his fiancée to move in with her immediately after their wedding
- The groom-to-be doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea as an African man but his wedding is at risk
- Dr Felix Chiedu, a relationship coach with over 17 years of experience, advises the man on how to handle the delicate issue
Legit.ng journalist Adekunle Dada has over 5 years of experience covering metro and government policy
Anonymous wrote:
“I’m a 35-year-old young man who plans to get married this year but am faced with a serious challenge.
“My fiancée who I plan to get married to wants me to join her in her apartment after marriage because it is bigger. She considers leaving her place for mine as moving backward in life.
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“She has a better job than I do and lives in a mini flat unlike myself who still manages a self-contained apartment.
“I’ve tried to explain to her that society does not support an African man moving in with his wife.
“I seriously need your advice as she has refused to see reason with me. I might lose her to another man if I don’t find a way around this.”
The world is changing, relationship coach advises
Dr Felix Chiedu is a Senior Registrar at the Federal Medical Centre Keffi in Nasarawa state. He is a certified sex therapist and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience.
Dr. Chiedu said the man moving in with the woman should not be an issue as the world is changing because cultural practices or beliefs are dynamic and not fixed.
Conversely, the world is changing. If a cultural practice or belief is not dynamic, then it has become a military rule. Things are changing these days, especially with the global world. We now have women who make advances and propose to men. We have women who earn more money than men, we have women who are more recognized and are superior in job description when compared to men. In the same vein, we have women who build houses, who are landladies and own lands. Sadly, most of these ladies fall in love with men who are not very financially buoyant.
Would a man say no to the request of any of the daughters of Otedola, Dangote, or Bill Gates asking him to move into her apartment after the wedding? The answer is a No, except you are in the same competition with them. What if the woman had given the man the cash to build or rent an apartment? Would it have made any difference?
The answer is still a No. So when a man finds himself in such a situation, the key thing he should be looking at is love. He should ensure that they build a relationship full of love, trust, and respect. So moving in with the woman should not be an issue. It is high time we started leaving trifles for important things that will make a marriage last.
Man do not lose leadership roles by moving into woman's house
What the society will say will not change the love of couples. If a woman loves the man, she will not see the husband looking for accommodation and be quiet when she can comfortably provide one or house him.
That a man moves into an apartment with a woman does not make him lose his leadership role. It does not mean he has lost his respect or place of authority. This is why it is important to build a home where the man is the head more than a house where the source of provision can be from anyone.
Wife gives husband 3-bedroom house
Meanwhile, Legit.ng reported that a Uasin Gishu man from Moiben, Kenya, left netizens in stitches after fainting when his wife, Florida Yator, presented him with a newly built house and a title deed.
The hard-working wife, Florida, built a three-bedroom house and placed it in her husband's name. The act shocked her hubby, who fainted upon receiving the title deeds.
Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers' decisions about solving relationship-based issues. Readers should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any decision.
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Source: Legit.ng
