“My Husband Changed Suddenly, Beats Me Up for No Reason, What Should I Do?” Lawyer Reacts
- A woman has narrated the trauma she went through in her marriage which used to be very rosy
- The woman who spoke anonymously said her husband suddenly changed and turned abusive towards her and their only child
- Barrister Olayinka Serah Ahmed, an associate attorney at First Almond Attorneys in Lagos, explains what victims experiencing domestic violence in marriages should do
Legit.ng journalist Esther Odili has over two years of experience covering political parties and movements.
A woman who spoke to Legit.ng anonymously said she has, for years, suffered at the hands of her abusive husband and felt like there was no way out.
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"I anticipated a blissful life with my husband after our wedding in 2012, which took place at Ikoyi Marriage Registry, Lagos, Nigeria; shortly after which we relocated to a northern state, Nigeria where he was resident. This necessitated I resigned from my well paid job in Lagos.
"Typically, I had expectations of a forever happily after, but my sweet and nice husband surprisingly changed and started treating me with disdain and my opinion never mattered in our family affair. He maltreated me and would beat me at every little or no provocations which led to the miscarriage of my pregnancy on two different occasions due to his constant psychological and physical abuse and violent conducts towards me.
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"Consequently, this led to my depression which later degenerated into trauma and eventually made me run for my dear life in March 2022 alongside our child. During the process, I was caused bodily harm by my husband while resisting my efforts to take away our only child. Though I have taken the steps I considered best and left the marriage, I would like to know the best way to handle this kind of situation.
How best to address domestic violence? Legal expert explains
Barrister Olayinka Serah Ahmed is passionate about fundamental human rights and has experience in civil, criminal, and corporate areas of law.
Domestic violence can be said to be a pattern of exerting abuse which could either be physical or psychological on a person. It is worthy of note that both men and women go through domestic violence. Hence it is not limited to a particular gender, but studies have shown that millions of women and children around the world are being abused daily, and most times, the abusers are persons they once trusted.
Studies have also shown that in Africa, women have always been encouraged to endure domestic violence in their homes for the sake of their children, and these women are pacified to stay with their abusers, be it the husband or his family, with the hope that change would happen someday, a miracle I suppose.
Nevertheless, the law frowns at domestic violence. and efforts are being made by lawmakers and various agencies to put an end to such barbaric behaviour.
Due to the widespread and increasing numbers of domestic violence recorded over the years and the destructive effect on individuals, states in Nigeria have established several agencies to provide solutions and ensure the abusers taste their own bitter pill.
Interestingly, one of the proactive ones in Nigeria is the Lagos State Domestic Violence and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA). The agency was established in 2014 and formerly known as Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team but was renamed to Lagos State Domestic Violence and Sexual Violence Agency on 20th September 2021. Excitedly, this agency has, since its creation, helped victims to navigate through recovering and obtaining justice against their abusers.
This agency has initiated several cases in court with remarkable success to show for it.
So, anyone experiencing domestic violence should report it to the DSVA if they are in Lagos or similar agencies in other states where they are residents for legal redress, possible arrest and prosecution.
Dissolution of marriage is another way out
Similarly, the dissolution of marriage is another way the law steps in to curtail the issue of domestic violence.
It is evident that the law will never aid a barbaric act and that the Marriage Acts and Matrimonial Causes Acts regulate the conduct of marriage and its dissolution in Nigeria.
"Evidently, the law is clearly on the side of the victim and proving that a partner cannot live with the other due to his or her intolerable behaviour is not something so difficult, merely pleading the fact that abuse of any sort have become the order of the day in the marriage is enough for the Honourable Court to dissolve the marriage."
Though the law respects the sanctity of marriage, it also recognises when exceptional hardship is being carried out on any individual. It is well known that the law is meant to protect the citizens.
Domestic violence should not be endured in silence
Domestic violence should never be condoned in our society or viewed as what any human should endure in silence, as it only makes the abusers unrepentant and gives them more boldness and courage till it becomes a habit, leading to avoidable damage or loss of life or everything the victims hold dearly or thought they were protecting."
Therefore, the law is meant for the citizens and agencies, NGOs and other organizations are required to encourage women, men, and children to speak up when this act is done to them.
Lastly, every human deserves a peaceful society and home to live in, and abusers should not be hidden, the law is fundamental to bringing justice to the victims, as it is meant to be the first step in their healing process.
She got me arrested over failed marriage promise
In another report, a young man was arrested by the police for breaking up with a lady he had promised to marry.
Barrister Titilope Anifowoshe, a respected legal expert, provided clarity to the matter, including the right of the police to make such an arrest.
Disclaimer: The advice given in this article is general and is not intended to influence readers' decisions about solving marital problems. Readers should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any decision.
Do you have a story to tell? Want an expert's advice? Please email us at ask.an.expert@corp.legit.ng with 'Ask an expert' in the subject line.
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