100 deep questions to ask your partner to make your relationship stronger

How well do you know your partner? Their likes, dislikes, trauma, regrets, passions, dreams, and great desires? One of the most exciting ways to strengthen your bond is by asking questions. Here are the deep questions to ask your partner to improve your relationship. Ogechukwu Nzewi, an experienced relationship, marriage, and life coach, shares her expertise on how couples can navigate meaningful dialogues without pressure, explore critical topics to help build connections and handle challenges that arise during such conversations.

Deep questions are suitable for a relationship that has existed for a while. By asking questions, you obtain the necessary level of understanding, helping you learn why your partner behaves or thinks in a certain way. Below is a list of deep questions to ask your partner about your relationship.

Deep questions to ask your partner before marriage

Perhaps you are on one of your first dates or have just started going out together, and you are trying to figure out whether the relationship is worth it. Asking the person about their life, dreams, thoughts, and purposes is the right way to determine whether they are suited for marriage.

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• How long do you think we will live together before getting married?
• How will we handle paying the bills?
• If we were to break up, who would move out?
• How will we make sure the chores around the house are divided fairly?
• Where would you want to live someday, and why?
• How do you feel about living with someone?
• Do you think our love will last forever?
• Would you ever consider having additional roommates to cut costs if we had a place with enough space?
• If I have to work late, will you have a problem with cooking or picking up some dinner for both of us?
• Do you want kids? How many?
• Where do you want to live in the long term? City? Mountains? Country?
• Do you believe in marriage? If so, what age do you think is the best for marriage?
• Do you believe in soul mates?
• How do you feel about taking in family members during a hard time? Elderly parents?
• What's your take on doing the housework if both partners work outside the home?
• What are your thoughts on how to discipline children?
• What kind of dad do you want to be?

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Fun, deep questions to ask your partner about your relationship

Your partner probably has exciting stories they have never told you or made it to conversations. These fun questions will get them to talk about their naughty and epic moments without feeling ashamed.

• Have you ever used a pick-up line? Was it successful?
• Do you show up at the airport early or right before boarding time?
• Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you will say? Why?
• If you could marry one celebrity, who would it be?
• What, according to you, is the most comforting smell?
• If you could take off for an entire weekend, which place would you go to?
• What's the one natural phenomenon you've always wanted to experience?
• What, in your opinion, is your biggest strength? Do you leave your closet doors open or keep them closed when you sleep?
• If you had to choose between going to space and going under the sea, which would it be?
• Do you read your horoscope? Do you do it for fun, or do you take it seriously?
• If you could be a dog breed, which one would you pick?
• Do you talk to yourself?
• Would you go back or forward in time if you had a time machine?
• What's the most brutal truth or dare you've ever been asked?
• Is there any job you would never do, even for a million dollars?
• Do you snore when you sleep?
• What actor or actress would play you in a movie about your life?
• What's a word you have trouble pronouncing correctly?

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Deep questions to ask your partner about themselves

Sometimes, it takes a deeper scrutiny of someone’s life to know them better. General talk and questions may not reveal much, but more profound questions will provide your desired answers. Here is a compilation of questions to help you know your lover deeply.

• What's one thing you always procrastinate on?
• What would you do with your life if you were suddenly awarded a billion dollars?
• How do you express your feelings or emotions?
• What makes you happy?
• How positive are you about your body?
• Do you consider yourself a planner or more of a go-with-the-flow kind of person?
• Have you ever cheated emotionally?
• Do you believe everything happens for a reason, or do we just find reasons after things happen?
• Is there anything you consider unforgivable?
• Do you think you're brave? Why or why not?
• In your life, what has been the biggest blessing in disguise?
• Do you suppress or express your emotions? Why and how?
• Are you generally present in the moment, or do you spend much time in your head?
• If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
• What's your personal mission statement?
• Do you believe you can manifest your dreams?
• Do you usually follow your head or your heart when making decisions?
• If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only three words?

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Deep questions to ask your partner about yourself

Open and honest communication is the foundation of a solid and lasting relationship. If you are wondering what your partner thinks of you, here are deep questions to ask them about yourself.

• How can I be a better partner to you?
• What's been your favorite birthday present from me so far?
• What's something new that I've helped you experience?
• What's your favorite memory of me so far?
• Have I ever committed a crime?
• What's the best gift I've ever given you?
• What was your first impression of me?
• What do I do that makes you feel loved or cared for?
• If you were to make a playlist about me, what kinds of songs would you put on it?
• Does anything about me intimidate you?
• How can I better support you in your personal or professional life?
• Do I compliment you enough?
• What makes you feel closest to me?
• Do I make you feel safe and protected?
• If my personality were a musical instrument, which would it be and why?
• When is the closest you've ever felt to me?
• Which fictional character reminds you of me in real life?

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Deep questions to ask your partner about the future

How can you know whether your significant other has dreams and visions? One of the easiest ways is by asking questions about the future. Below are some of the questions you can ask them.

• How do you want to be remembered?
• What are your retirement plans?
• What are you hoping to learn in the coming year?
• If you were told you had a terminal illness, what would be three things you'd want to do?
• What would you choose if you could live to 90 and have either the mind or body of a 30-year-old?
• What are your long-term goals for our relationship?
• If you could see into the future, what's one thing you want to see?
• If we had children, what features would you want them to get from you, and which from me?
• Where do you see yourself in five years?
• How do you see our future together? Where do you see it headed?
• What is a tradition you did with your family that you want to continue with your kids?
• How do you picture your life when you're 60?
• What are your thoughts on having a family?
• What are your financial priorities and goals?

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Deep questions to ask your partner about their past

You may be curious about your partner's past but don't know where to start. Below are some interesting questions to help you know your significant other's past.

• What's the most challenging setback you've ever experienced? How did you overcome it?
• If you could change one thing in history, what would it be?
• If you had to listen to just one of the songs you loved as a kid for the rest of your life, which song would it be?
• Did you have any pets growing up?
• What were you like as a child? As a teen?
• What is your favorite childhood memory?
• When was the last time you felt vulnerable? How did you cope?
• What have you accomplished in the past year that you are most proud of?
• What were the major turning points in your life?
• When was the last time you pushed out of your comfort zone? How did it make you feel?
• How have you changed in the past five years?
• When was the last time you cried, and why?
• What is an important life lesson you've learned?
• What's the most daring thing you've ever done?
• What is the biggest lesson you've learned from past partners?

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How can couples start deep conversations?

Ogechukwu Nzewi, an experienced relationship, marriage, and life coach, explained in an interview how couples can introduce deep conversations without making their partner feel pressured or overwhelmed. She said it starts with building a solid foundation of friendship within the relationship. Nzewi explained:

It’s about laying a solid foundation, like building a house; friendship forms that foundation for couples to comfortably discuss deep topics without feeling pressured. Friends understand each other’s direction, beliefs, and mindset, knowing where they’re going and anticipating potential challenges together.

She also shared vital keys on how couples can ease more profound dialogues, which include:

• Understanding communication styles:

Couples need to know how they each communicate. How does my partner express themselves, and how can I help them communicate in a way that both of us understand?

• Clarify the goal:

It’s essential to clarify the expected outcome of difficult conversations. Just like a board meeting has an agenda, we should think, ‘What is the goal of this conversation?’ This preparation helps couples evaluate if the conversation is beneficial or potentially straining.

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• Consider timing and place:

Emotional intelligence plays a significant role here. Considering your partner's mood, you must choose the right time and place. Recognizing when it’s appropriate to have these conversations ensures that both people feel ready to engage openly.

How often should couples have deep conversations?

Nzewi advises daily communication for keeping a healthy relationship:

Frequent communication is crucial for a healthy marriage. Daily communication is like oxygen in a marriage. Waiting too long between conversations allows issues to build up, creating walls that can hinder connection. Even brief, everyday discussions help keep couples aligned.

However, for more complex topics, couples may schedule specific times to discuss them in depth. For example, setting a monthly meeting to discuss finances or long-term goals allows them to approach heavier topics thoughtfully.

How can couples handle difficult or uncomfortable answers?

The relationship expert emphasized the importance of creating a ‘truth zone”. She explained:

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It starts with a mindset—preparing yourself for honest feedback. When asking tough questions, approach the conversation with the commitment to stay open and avoid getting defensive. Think of it as a ‘truth zone’ where both partners can freely express their feelings. Remember, your partner won’t see everything as you do, and that’s okay.

Expert tips for handling tough answers:

• Stay humble:

Humility and willingness to grow are essential. When a partner shares feedback, be open to it and respond thoughtfully. Say, ‘Thank you for sharing. I hadn’t seen it that way.’

• Apologize when necessary:

Apologizing when at fault also helps build trust. Ask, ‘How can we find common ground?’

How to build intimacy and trust in relationships?

Nzewi highlights several ways partners/couples can build intimacy and trust:

• Love language:

Each person has a unique way of expressing and receiving love. If your partner’s love language is quality time, showering them with gifts won’t convey love in a way that resonates with them. You foster more vital intimacy by speaking in a way they understand—through physical touch, acts of service, or words of affirmation.

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• Prioritize a "couple time":

Setting aside time to connect as husband and wife, not just as ‘mom and dad,’ is crucial. When couples have children, it’s easy to focus entirely on parenting and forget the marital relationship. Couples must be intentional about spending time together, bonding, going on date nights, or simply enjoying each other’s company. This deliberate effort ensures they remain close despite busy seasons, keeping the relationship vibrant.

Life happens in seasons, and sometimes couples get very busy. A routine, like going out on certain weekends or spending time together weekly, strengthens the connection. This intentionality helps keep the ‘fire’ alive, creating a solid bond that withstands life's challenges.

What can I ask my partner to strengthen my relationship?

Focus on questions that address shared interests to foster deeper understanding, connection, and growth in your relationship. Other topics to base your questions on include communication, quality time, intimacy, and conflict resolution.

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Getting to know someone takes time, but it also takes effort. The above deep questions to ask your partner will help strengthen your relationship. If you want to get the most sincere answer to your questions, the right atmosphere needs to be created to make them relaxed.

Legit.ng recently published an article about the best good night messages for him to make him smile. Sending your boyfriend or husband a romantic good night message shows that you care about his well-being and want him to have a peaceful evening after a tiresome day.

A sincere good night text is a way of expressing your affection and love towards your partner. Make it clear how much you appreciate his existence by wishing good things for him right before he sleeps. It will make him smile and have a peaceful night.

Source: Legit.ng