70+ lighthearted Bible jokes for the best holy humour
Laughter is a universal language that connects people, and the Bible is never short of instances that will make you laugh. Bible jokes give a way of reading the scriptures while also providing a hilarious twist on the stories and characters involved. These jokes are perfect for warming up family gatherings and congregations in churches. If you want to break the silence or share some fun moments with Christian friends, Bible jokes can kick-start your fun experience.
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The Bible is the leading book for Christians, containing several exciting stories, teachings, and characters. Even though it is a religious text, it has several instances that will make you laugh. Bible jokes are twists that show you the religious text's funny side. You can serve these hilarious jokes to any age group—they’re a great way to introduce the Bible to any audience.
Lighthearted Bible jokes for hilarious holy moments
It is quite difficult to comprehend that the Bible has jokes. However, when you keenly read the verses, you will find some that elicit laughter and make you think deeply about them. In addition to the verses, you will encounter funny characters. Discover jokes from the Bible in this hilarious compilation.
Bible jokes for kids
Biblical jokes are a fun way for kids to learn Bible teachings. The laughter the jokes bring creates a favourable and fun atmosphere for Bible study. Here are funny jokes about the Bible for kids that will make them chuckle.
- When was medicine first mentioned in the Bible? When God gave Moses two tablets.
- Who was the biggest sinner in the Bible? Moses. He broke all ten commandments at once.
- How do you make Holy Water? Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
- Who is the most excellent babysitter mentioned in the Bible? David. He rocked Goliath to a profound sleep.
- Who was the most intelligent man in the Bible? Abraham. He knew a Lot.
- Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? To get to the other side.
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- What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of the house.
- Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck.
- Which area of Palestine was incredibly wealthy? The area around the River Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
- How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel.
- Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? In the big inning. Eve stole first, and Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
- What was the first word out of Adam’s mouth when he first saw Eve? Whoa man! Thus, the word “woman” was created.
- Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
- When is the first maths homework problem mentioned in the Bible? When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.
- Who was the best female finance lady in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
- Who is the fastest person in the Bible? Adam, because he was first in the human race.
- Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson. He brought the house down.
- Which Bible character had no parents? Joshua, son of Nun.
Bible jokes for adults
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People draw different interpretations from reading the Bible verses. Interestingly, some of the interpretations are funny. Here are short bible jokes for adults that will make you giggle and think that God has a sense of humour.
- How do we know God likes coffee? Because the Bible says He brews.
- What did Moses say when he came down the mountain and saw the Israelites worshipping a golden calf? Holy cow!
- It wasn't the apple in the tree that got us in trouble, but the pair on the ground.
- Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? He thought he saw a job.
- Why did Eve want to leave the Garden of Eden and move to New York City? She fell for the Big Apple.
- How did the 12 disciples travel? By driving a Honda. The Bible says they were all in one Accord.
- Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark? Because they were using “fowl” language.
- How do you know that atoms are Catholic? They have Mass.
- What type of car does Jesus drive? A Christ-ler.
- What’s a Christian’s favourite card game? Eucharist..
- Why would Moses be considered a remarkable man if he were alive today? Because he would be several thousand years old.
- When did they play tennis in the Bible? When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
- What animal could Noah not trust? Cheetah.
- It is really difficult to read multiple versions of the Bible at the same time. You have to do a lot of cross-referencing.
- What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Absolutely ruthless.
- Noah probably got milk from the cows in the Ark. What did he get from the ducks? Quakers.
- If Goliath would come back to life today, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath? No, he already fell for it once.
- Who was the first person in the Bible to swear? Job - He cursed the day he was born!
Short funny Bible jokes
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Short jokes from the Bible are a delightful source of laughs. They are clever and witty, providing a refreshing and humorous twist to the scriptures. Here is a compilation of short bible jokes that will make you laugh your head off.
- I only believe 12.5% of the Bible. I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.
- Hey girl, are you the Bible? Because men keep misinterpreting what you say to support their selfish agendas.
- The thief who stole my diary and my Bible died today. My thoughts and prayers are with his family.
- Why doesn't the Bible have an "about the author"? A holy ghostwriter wrote it.
- Why do writers hate the Bible? It has terrible characters. Noah is the only one with an arc.
- It's important not to read the Bible but skim it because the devil is in the details.
- The Bible has so many fantastic stories. It's unbelievable!
- Need a boat? I Noah guy.
- Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple? Because it was a bird of pray.
- How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? By his net income.
- What is a missionary's favourite type of car? A convertible.
- Why was the maths book sad in Sunday school? Because it had too many problems.
- Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah? He didn't want to split hairs.
- Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? The thought had never entered his head before.
- What’s a dentist’s favourite hymn? Crown him with many crowns.
- What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings.
- Why wouldn’t Pharoah let the Hebrews go? He was in de-Nile.
- Why did Adam insist on naming the spearmint leaf? Because he was Adam-mint.
Hilarious Bible verses
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Funny Bible jokes elicit a chuckle because of their context, wording, and imagery. Below are hilarious Bible verses you may not have encountered.
- Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. – Proverbs 11:22
- Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. – Acts 20:9
- He stripped off his garments, and he, too, prophesied in Samuel’s presence. He lay naked all that day and all that night. This is why people say, 'Is Saul also among the prophets? – 1 Samuel 19:24
- Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, 'What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times? – Numbers 22:28
- As dead flies give perfume a bad smell, so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honour. – Ecclesiastes 10:1
- At noon, Elijah began to taunt them. 'Shout louder!' he said. 'Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or travelling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened. – 1 Kings 18:27
- Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. – Proverbs 21:9
- Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, 'What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times? – Numbers 22:28
- So I told them, ‘Whoever has any gold jewellery, take it off.’ Then they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf! – Exodus 32:24
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- Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon, looking toward Damascus. – Song of Songs 7:4
- Separate everyone who laps the water with his tongue like a dog. Do the same with everyone who kneels to drink. – Judges 7:5
- Give beer to one who is dying and wine to one whose life is bitter. – Proverbs 31:6
- He replied to me, “Look, I will let you use cow dung instead of human excrement, and you can make your bread over that. – Ezekiel 4:15
- Happy is he who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rocks. – Psalm 137:9
- A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything. – Ecclesiastes 10:19
- As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves! – Galatians 5:12
- Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes, Which have come up from their washing, All of which bear twins, And not one among them has lost her young. – Song of Solomon 4:2
- These people are not drunk, as you suppose, for it is only nine o’clock in the morning. – Acts 2:15
What does the Bible say about jokes?
Laughter and happiness are frequently mentioned, especially in the book of Proverbs. However, the most notable Proverbs verse is Proverbs 17:22: "A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength."
Who was the first person mentioned in the Bible as laughing?
Abraham is the first person mentioned as laughing in the Bible in Genesis 17:17: "Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said to himself, 'Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?"
Who was punished for laughing in the Bible?
God rebuked Sarah after she was caught laughing and making comments to herself that showed disbelief in God.
Incorporating Bible jokes in Christian discussions and teaching brings a refreshing and joyful dimension. Jokes about well-known scriptures make people appreciate the humour and humanity in Bible teachings and foster togetherness. The lighter side of the Bible gives an interesting perspective on the religious text and encourages people to read it.
Legit.ng recently published Bible verses for exams. When you have put a lot of effort into your studies and are determined to sit and pass your exams, an uplifting Bible verse may be the only thing you need to complete the preparations.
The Bible has the right words for any situation in life. If you are preparing to sit for an exam, several verses can help you get the courage you need. Here are the best Bible verses to read as you prepare for exams.
Source: Legit.ng
