75+ funny celebrity quotes that will make you chuckle a bit
8 min read
They say that laughter is the best medicine, and what better way to relieve boredom than with some amusing celebrity quotes? Most celebrities are known for having a great sense of humour and telling jokes that can leave many people in stitches.
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When it comes to being funny, many celebrities are recognised for having a great sense of humour. Some have made statements that have left their fans laughing and filled with joy. Here is a list of funny quotes from famous celebrities.
Funny celebrity quotes about life
Life is funny, and expressing or comprehending what you go through can be difficult. The following are some of the funniest quotes by actors.
- God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind that I will never die. – Bill Watterson
- Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it. – Lily Tomlin
- Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. – Doug Larson
- Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. –George Burns
- You are upgrading your technology, and you've not upgraded yourself. – Eric Thomas
- Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television. – Woody Allen
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. – Will Rogers
- Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use. — Charles M. Schulz
- Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. — George Bernard Shaw
- Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. — Elbert Hubbard
- Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese. — Billie Burke
- Live in such a way that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. — Will Rogers
- Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living; it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. — Dr Seuss
- People are like music. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. – Bill Murray
- Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. – Albert Einstein
- The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. – Oprah Winfrey
- To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes. – Kevin Hearne
- If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable. — Carrie Fisher
Funny short celebrity quotes
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Are celebrities funny? Yes, some of the stars you watch or interact with have a great way of making everyone around them feel happy. These short funny celebrity quotes will inspire you while making you laugh simultaneously.
- If you're gonna to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. – Marilyn Monroe
- The man who says his wife can't take a joke forgets that she took him. – Oscar Wilde
- The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. – Lucille Ball
- As long as you know men are like children, you know everything! – Coco Chanel
- I still love her. But she's retarded, too. – Guy Ritchie
- To write a diary every day is like returning to one's own vomit. – Enoch Powell
- The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. – Mel Gibson
- It's not enough to succeed. Others must fail. – Gore Vidal
- You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow. – Jack Black
- If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. – George Carlin
- I admit that I live in the past, but only because housing is so much cheaper. — Matt Wohlfarth
- The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. – Quentin Crisp
- Bad decisions make good stories. – Ayn Rand
- I like women, I don't understand them, but I like them. – Sean Connery
- A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Benjamin Franklin
- Creativity is intelligence and having fun. – Albert Einstein
- Too much money ain't enough money. – Lil Wayne
- Creativity is contagious; pass it on. — Albert Einstein
- Well-behaved women rarely made history. — Eleanor Roosevelt
- If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. — Katharine Hepburn
Dumb and embarrassing celebrity quotes
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Is there anything you've heard your favourite celebrity say that was funny and embarrassing? Have a look at the examples below.
- I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. — Arnold Schwarzenegger
- I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to. – Shaquille O'Neal
- When you're a Scientologist, and you drive by accident, you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one who can really help. – Tom Cruise
- All of a sudden, you're like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through. – R. Kelly
- I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art. – Madonna
- I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me. – Jessica Simpson
- Winners learn from the past, live in the present, and lead into the future. – Orrin Woodward
- When I record music, I like to be in one place and kind of have a base to keep going back to. — Rita Ora
- Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen - that stillness becomes a radiance. – Morgan Freeman
- I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they're wet, and you smell them all warm, like a baked good. I love the smell of Balmex. Love it. – Sarah Jessica Parker
- Lighten up. Brighten up - that's my mantra, and it gets me through the rest of the afternoon. – Zoe Thurner
- I am who I am. I can't pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year. – Gwyneth Paltrow
- Love is the strongest emotion. We never feel the distance. Even at large distances apart from each other, both lovers will feel the closeness always. – Joseph Mathew
- I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes. — Kevin Hearne
- The land and the ocean are living, breathing entities that supported us, clothed us, fed us, and nurtured our culture from time immemorial. — Eden Robinson
- Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. – Kate Moss
- It's pleasant and bothersome and embarrassing all at once. Especially when you haven't done much and are a celebrity. – Nastassja Kinski
- I'm prouder of my weight loss than my Oscar! — Jennifer Hudson
- When you think about it, we actors are kind of prostitutes. — Megan Fox
- I couldn't care less if they [the media] say I'm pregnant with twins by my brother. — Kim Kardashian
Dumb quotes by celebrities
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The stupidest celebrity statements cover many topics and will leave you wondering what you just read. Some are celebrities just mispronouncing words, while others are bizarre comments that make no sense.
- I actually don't like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don't. I do not like to think at all. — Kanye West
- Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost an important part of your life. – Brooke Shields
- I've always thought Marilyn Monroe looked fabulous, but I'd kill myself if I was that fat. — Elizabeth Hurley
- If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. — Jade Smith
- The truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we're very happy. Thanks for asking. That's the truth. It's not a publicity stunt. — Tom Hiddleston
- I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of since 2009. –Taylor Swift
- I love them. Love them. I think the more positive approach you have to smoke, the less harmful it is. — Sienna Miller
- I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa. — Britney Spears
- If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. — Dan Quayle
- I have a different constitution. I have a different brain; I have a different heart; I got tiger blood, man. — Charlie Sheen
- I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. — David Beckham
- The problem is these shoes are abusive. I can't put them on alone. I'm not going to lie about it. — Mariah Carey
- What is my talent? Well, a bear can juggle and stand on a ball, and he is talented, but he is not famous. — Kim Kardashian
- We don't have unsung heroes anymore. Every hero has sung a song in some film. — Shirish Kunder
- I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that's the America millions of Americans believe in. That's the America I love. – Mitt Romney
- It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. – Axl Rose
- Anne was a great girl. Hopefully, she would have been a belieber. – Justin Bieber
- There's much more to life than all of these possessions and everything. And if you want those things, you're going to have to work yourself, just like I did. – Paris Hilton
- The only happy artist is a dead artist because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush. – Sylvester Stallone
- People go to college to find out who they are as a person… I kind of already know that, so it would be like I'd be taking a step back or something. – Lindsay Lohan
Humour is a powerful tool that can break down barriers and bring people together. Funny celebrity quotes are a great way to lighten the mood and inject some laughter into your lives.
Legit. ng recently published an article about 50+ happy birthday in Heaven mom quotes. Dealing with the death of a mother is one of the most difficult things you can go through since mothers are God's best gift.
And when that gift is taken away, you feel as if your entire world has fallen. Remembering all of the wonderful times you had with her on her birthday will help you enjoy her special day.
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