40 craziest Florida Man headlines that have kept the meme alive

40 craziest Florida Man headlines that have kept the meme alive

Crazy, hilarious, and absurd things happening in Florida have been popularised on the internet by Florida man memes. Florida man headlines have been online since 2013, with netizens uploading materials about men doing unusual acts such as crimes and funny actions.

News online in phone
The craziest Florida Man headlines are always hilarious and baffling. Photo: Tero Vesalainen
Source: Getty Images

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Florida Man headlines are one of the memes that have dominated social media for a long time with bizarre and funny stories. People have shared numerous links on the internet about strange things that have happened in the Sunshine State. Here are some headlines that have kept the meme alive over the years.

Best Florida Man headlines

While there have been many headlines about Florida man on the internet, some of the stories have stood out. Below is the best of Florida man stories compilation that will surprise you.

1. Florida man breaks into a house, cleans it and leaves behind origami

In 2019, a man identified as Nate Roman from Marlborough, Massachusetts, USA, reported a funny incident that left many shocked. He came home and found an intruder had entered his home and cleaned everything in the house, including spreading his bead and scrubbing the toilets. What is even more crazy is that he left behind origami roses on his toilet paper rolls.

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2. Florida Man blows a .339 blood alcohol level and gets a DUI on a golf cart

Alfred Constant Mathieu went for a cruise on his golf cart, and while driving on a highway, he was stopped by police who noticed he was drunk. On testing his blood alcohol content, it turned out to be .339, which is way above the legal limit, and he was arrested.

3. Florida Man flees cops so fast that some of his clothes come off. So police identify him with DNA from his sock

Cops could only find a pair of jean shorts, a sandal and a sock at a shooting scene in St. Petersburg, Florida, after the suspects dashed from the scene. However, the socks proved to be a vital piece of evidence after DNA pulled from it matched Octavius Jessie Henderson, identifying the shooting suspect.

4. Florida man tries to walk out of a store with a chainsaw stuffed down his pants

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Anthony Ballard took shoplifting a notch higher by shoplifting a chainsaw. He reportedly entered Treasure Coast Lawn Equipment and engaged the cashier in small talk while hiding the power tool in his pants.

5. Florida man arrested for calling 911 after his cat was denied entry into a club

Everett Lages visited a Florida nightclub alongside his kitten, but the officials denied access to the facility. Instead of leaving, he called 911, and when the cops arrived, he was uncooperative and continued calling 911. He was arrested for misusing 911.

6. Florida man arrested for crashing car into a mall; says he was trying to time travel

A car crashed into a mall on North Davis Highway in Pensacola, Florida. When cops questioned the unidentified man driving the Dodge Challenger, he said he was trying to time travel when the incident occurred.

7. Police say a Florida man with no arms and no legs is armed and on the run

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Florida police were looking for a person suspected of that horrible incident. Sean Petrozzino, the suspect, is a quadruple amputee who lived with his parents after separating from his wife. The police warned the public, saying Petrozzino was armed and on the run.

8. Florida man impersonating a police officer pulls over real cops

A man reading a news paper
Florida man headlines often involve scenarios that are so strange or absurd that they capture people's attention immediately. Photo: pexels.com, @Ron Lach (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Matthew Joseph Erris was arrested in April 2019 after impersonating a police officer. Matthew unknowingly stopped an undercover cop who later called 911 to inform the real cops who apprehended him.

9. Florida man calls 911 after PlayStation stopped working

An unidentified Florida man called 911 to inquire why his PlayStation system was not working. He wanted to know if there was a network issue.

10. Florida man and his pet chicken develop social media fame

A man in Niceville, Florida, gained immense fame on social media with his pet chicken. The two were almost inseparable as they were seen visiting most places and enjoying their time together. Dave Cox and his chicken Sammi have a significant following on Instagram.

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11. Florida man attacks girlfriend with banana

A man named Phillip Joseph Smolinsky was arrested on charges of domestic battery and resisting arrest. His girlfriend alleged that during an argument, Smolinsky threw a banana at her, which struck her in the face. Smolinsky denied this and claimed she was the one who initiated the fruit fight.

12. Florida man calls 911 to report himself drunk driving

The story involves a man from Winter Haven, Florida, named Michael Lester, who called 911 on New Year's Eve to report himself for drunk driving. When asked for his location, he said he was "all over Winter Haven" because he was too intoxicated to know exactly where he was.

13. Florida man grabs alligator, chases customers in-store while on a beer run

This Florida man news occurred in Jacksonville in July 2018 and involved a man named Robby Stratton. He went on a beer run but with an unexpected companion - an alligator! Stratton reportedly chased customers around the store with the alligator in hand!

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Craziest Florida Man headlines

Of all the stories about Florida man on the internet, some are crazy and a bit bizarre. Here are Florida man stories that you will find quite absurd.

1. Florida man arrested for trying to get alligator drunk

In August 2019, two Florida men were arrested by police after they were found giving beer to an alligator they captured. A video showed Timothy Kepke and Noah Osborne forcefully pouring beer into the alligator’s mouth.

2. Florida man fights off an alligator that attacked his dog

Trent Tweddale’s morning walk with his dog Loki turned disastrous when an alligator attacked his pet. In an attempt to rescue his pet, the dog owner ended up in a tug-of-war with the alligator. He rescued his dog, but not without minor injuries.

3. Florida man arrested after botched castration surgery

Gary Van Ryswyk hit the headlines in August 2019 after he was arrested for conducting a failed castration surgery. Gary Van Ryswyk and another person met online and opted to perform the surgery, but he was not a licensed medical doctor.

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A person reading a news paper
Florida Man headlines often spread rapidly across social media platforms and news outlets. Photo: pexels.com, @Gül Işık (modified by author)
Source: UGC

4. Florida man in Largo tells police, “Just take me to jail.”

In March 2022, Kyle Futch was identified as the person on a surveillance camera seen taking boots at a store without paying. When police visited his home for arrest, he told them to take him to jail.

5. Florida man busted with guns and baby alligator in truck

Officers pulled over a truck driven by Michael Marolla in April 2022, and on searching the truck, they found guns. They were drawn back when they saw a baby alligator in the truck bed.

6. Unique piece of evidence helps police find Florida man in robbery

William Carroll allegedly robbed a woman at knife-point and made away with her backpack. Police caught him, but nothing could tie him to the crime scene until a brown stain that matched a dog’s poop at the scene was spotted on his shirt.

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7. Florida man driving a car with two missing tires blames it on paranormal activity

In November 2022, cops pulled over a driver they noticed was driving a vehicle without two wheels. The driver explained to the officers that someone had put a spell on him and had to drive away fast, causing the damage.

8. Florida man has a great time in someone else’s vacation rental

Zachary Seth Murdock was arrested after he broke into a vacation rental, bathed, and made himself a cup of coffee. His identity was revealed after his bus ticket was found in the kitchen trash can.

9. Florida man busted for stealing his twin brother’s identity

In April 2022, Wayne Bowen pleaded guilty to stealing his twin brother’s identity. He used his estranged brother’s name, Social Security card, and military discharge papers to apply for federally subsidised housing benefits.

10. Florida man drives stolen truck to Space Force base to warn of a battle between aliens and dragons

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Corey Johnson was charged with grand auto theft in July 2022. He stole a Ford F-150 and drove it to a Space Force base to warn the government about mythical creatures. He told the authorities that US aliens were fighting with Chinese dragons.

11. Florida man is killed in porta-potty

In March 2022, a Florida man, Aaron Henderson, 43, was working at a landfill when he was tragically killed when a bulldozer accidentally crushed the porta-potty he was using.

13. Florida man faked his death and went on the run for 20 years

A man, Bennie Wint, faked his own demise under the belief that law enforcement was pursuing him for drug-related offences. For twenty years after pretending to drown at a Florida beach, Wint secretly lived, believing he was going to be arrested soon.

14. Florida man high on flakka attacked officer, said he was God

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According to police reports, a man in Florida believed to be under the influence of flakka, a dangerous synthetic drug, exhibited some erratic behaviour. The man, identified as Kenneth Crowder, was reportedly seen running naked through a neighbourhood while claiming to be God.

15. Florida man accused of shooting roommate 10 times during argument about cats

In Lee County, Florida, a dispute over cats allegedly led to a 59-year-old man, Glenn White, shooting his roommate multiple times on March 8th, 2024.

The victim, a woman, sustained ten gunshot wounds but fortunately survived after receiving medical care. The altercation reportedly arose when White introduced more cats into their shared residence without his roommate's consent.

Funny Florida man headlines

Some stories about the meme will surely make you laugh your head off. Here is a list of the funniest Florida man headlines.

1. Florida man tries to evade arrest by cartwheeling away from cops

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In July 2020, an unidentified person was apprehended by cops for blocking traffic after doing a flip on the road. However, he set himself free after a and tried to get away fast by cartwheeling himself and was caught.

A man checking updates on his phone
Florida Man headlines have become viral, and many people are creating memes out of them. Photo: pexels.com, @Matheus Bertelli (modified by author)
Source: UGC

2. Florida man driving with a clown mannequin had a live grenade in his pickup truck

In October 2021, a Florida man was questioned why he was driving on an expired licence. The police became suspicious and searched his car, only to find a live grenade.

3. Trash talking: Florida man captures alligator with bin

Eugene Bozzi’s daughter told him that she had seen an alligator. He realised it was big and posed a danger to children. To everyone’s surprise, the US Army veteran used a trash bin to capture the alligator.

4. Florida man trapped in an unlocked closet for two days

A Florida man and woman spent two days in a closet, thinking it was locked up. The couple called 911, and when police arrived, they realised the closet was unlocked, and the two could have come out whenever they wanted.

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5. A lame dad joke gets Florida man banned from Disney World for life

In September 2015, David Swindle, displeased with the services he received from a Disney World attendant, said he could build a meth lab in his in the time it would take to get a service. He was handed a lifetime ban from Disney World.

6. Florida man accused of jumping naked on neighbour’s trampoline before breaking into the home

Adrian Lee Gonzalez-Bradway, a Lehigh Acres, Florida resident, was arrested after he bounced naked on his neighbour’s trampoline and attempted to break into her house. He was also reportedly seen eating grass during the arrest.

7. Florida man jumps into Bass Pro Shops fish tank in South Florida

A person in South Florida jumped into Bass Pro Shops fish tank. He later jumped and ran away from the store. He later turned himself in and said it was a spur of the moment and never intended to do it.

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8. Florida man protects his car from Hurricane Dorian by parking it inside his kitchen

Fearing that Hurricane Dorian could blow away his smart car, Patrick Eldridge found a safe haven for his car by parking it in the kitchen. He could not park it in the garage because his wife’s car was already there.

9. Florida man killed by an alligator while hiding from cops

A suspected burglar, Matthew Riggins, was killed and partly eaten by an alligator as he evaded police arrest in November 2015. Mathew was reportedly hiding in Barefoot Bay Lake when he was attacked.

10. A Florida man was bitten in the face by an alligator while playing disc golf

In October 2019, a man was bitten in the face by an alligator as he was looking for a Frisbee to play disc golf. He also lost his left arm in the early Friday morning attack.

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11. Florida man attacked by 'crazy squirrel'

A man claimed to have been attacked by a squirrel in a Florida town. The victim, identified as Robby Armstrong, stated that the squirrel bit him on the elbow and scratched his arm without any apparent provocation. A surveillance video recorded the incident.

12. Florida man wearing 'No, seriously, I have drugs' T-shirt arrested for drug possession

John Balmer was arrested for possessing illegal substances. The interesting detail is that he was wearing a T-shirt that read: "Who needs drugs? No, seriously, I have drugs."

Florida man headlines have been around for a long time, and as more things happen in the Sunshine State, the meme will continue trending. While some stories are bizarre and scary, others are fascinating.

Legit.ng recently published 100+ unanswerable questions. It feels satisfying to answer a question, but unfortunately, some questions seem not to have answers.

Even though a lot is known in the world, plenty remains unknown. Therefore, some questions do not have answers, and you should not bother thinking about them. Here is a compilation of questions without answers.

Source: Legit.ng

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Muhunya Muhonji (Lifestyle writer) Muhunya is a graduate of Agricultural Economics from Egerton University, Class of 2014, with a passion for storytelling and content creation. Since joining Legit.ng as a writer in July 2021, he has covered diverse topics such as entertainment, technology, business, and biographies. His journalism journey has seen him complete multiple professional courses, including the AFP Digital Investigation Techniques course (2023), the Google News Initiative course (March 2024), and Fact-Checking and Research training (September 2024). Email: muhunyah@gmail.com

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Adrianna Simwa (Lifestyle writer) Adrianna Simwa is a content writer at Legit.ng where she has worked since mid-2022. She has written for many periodicals on a variety of subjects, including news, celebrities, and lifestyle, for more than three years. She has worked for The Hoth, The Standard Group and Triple P Media. Adrianna graduated from Nairobi University with a Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) in 2020. In 2023, Simwa finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. You can reach her through her email: adriannasimwa@gmail.com

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