Is it bad for a girl to take the first step about a relationship?
Traditionally, men are usually responsible for starting the conversation and making the first move. However, women should feel free to initiate as as well, despite societal norms. Dr. Gail Saltz, an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine, shares insights on evolving societal perceptions about women initiating romantic relationships.
Source: UGC
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- Should a girl make the first move?
- What do guys think when a girl makes the first move?
- Societal views about girls initiating relationships
- Challenges or potential drawbacks for women initiating relationships
- Expert tips: how to overcome the fear of rejection
- How to make the first move on a guy
- How common is it for a girl to make the first move?
- Is it bad for the girl to make the first move?
- Can girls take the first step?
- What is the first step in a relationship?
- How long does it take for a girl to be ready for a relationship?
- What do guys think if a girl makes the first move?
Men are no longer responsible for making the first move, which is beautiful! Girls should not be afraid to express their feelings or ask a man out on a date. You don't need to make the first move, but it's nice to have the option.
Should a girl make the first move?
A girl making the first move is a great thing. A girl who makes the first move increases their chances of dating more attractive men. For a girl who contacts a man first, 30 per cent of those messages turn into a conversation. Women are 2.5 times more likely to get a response than men are when they initiate contact.
When you see a cute guy, and you are interested in him, send a message out to him. If he doesn't respond, well and good. But an unanswered email is hardly the same as a live man who has the potential to reject you harshly. No one likes to be rejected.
Generally, don't overthink your judgment to approaching a stranger. Don't be concerned about the possibility that this person will dislike you. Remember that there's a chance you won't like them either. The only way to avoid sounding desperate is to experiment. While making moves can be intimidating at first, you'll never know unless you try.
Taking a risk is a sure shot way to boost self-confidence and demonstrate your assertiveness to a potential suitor.
What do guys think when a girl makes the first move?
Source: UGC
How do you feel when you are the object of someone's affection? It is flattering even if you are not interested in moving things forward. Men are no exception. You should not even think about it if you are wondering whether it's acceptable for a girl to make the first move.
The majority of men understand what it takes to make the first step in a relationship. If a girl takes the initiative, the guy will undoubtedly appreciate her self-assurance. There is an innate appeal to someone who deviates from the norms and follows their heart.
Societal views about girls initiating relationships
Dr. Gail Saltz, an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine, explained in an interview that societal perceptions about women making the first move in relationships are changing, noting that while traditional gender norms still exist, especially among older generations, younger people are much more open to the idea. She said:
Many men and women are comfortable with and even like it when the young woman makes the first move. In fact, there is a dating app (called Bumble) that has been highly successful based on the woman being the one to make the first ask out.
Dr. Saltz points out that the evolution of societal views about girls taking the first step in relationships is closely tied to the progress in women’s rights and independence. She explains:
As women have gained increasing equality in jobs and career paths, income capacity, education, and general rights, so too has the evolution of what a woman can and should do. As women are less dependent on men to provide and protect, it has opened up their choices— to be married or not, to have children or not, to be the primary caretaker or not, and to be assertive in the dating world.
Older gender norms of a woman needing to wait to be asked or a man having to take the lead still exist, especially in older generations, but for younger generations, this ‘traditional’ aspect of gender norms has changed.
Many women feel empowered to have more control over who they get involved with, and many men enjoy being invited, which takes the pressure off of them having to put themselves out there.
Challenges or potential drawbacks for women initiating relationships
Dr. Saltz emphasized that while taking the first step can be empowering, it’s not without challenges. She mentioned:
- Fear of rejection
Just as men have felt the pressure and vulnerability of asking someone out and perhaps being declined, women who ask will feel the same pressure, maybe even more so because she already felt her asking was riskier as it is not necessarily the norm.
- Traditional backlash
Some men who feel strongly about older gender norms may not like her taking the lead; they may want a woman to be a passive follower, in which case he may be dismissive.
I would suggest that this should not be a deterrent. The man who wants a more traditional and passive partner probably wasn’t the man for her anyway, so it’s just as well that he said no. I would say that managing the vulnerability of dating will be there whether you are the 'asker' or the one asked.
It is better to ask assertively for what you prefer, not to over-personalize a rejection from someone who doesn't even know you well, and develop more resilience in pursuing a partner.
Expert tips: how to overcome the fear of rejection
Dr. Saltz offers encouraging and practical tips for women hesitant to take the first step because they fear rejection. She advises:
- Understand the fear: The fear of rejection is normal—it’s about uncertainty, not a guarantee of failure, and it’s key that one learns how to tolerate uncertainty.
- Take a chance: It allows you to explore the possibility of a meaningful connection with someone who genuinely interests you. “If you don't ask, you are often enough unlikely to get what you wanted,” she added.
- Build confidence:
Remind yourself you are strong and capable enough to deal with the outcome, whatever it may be, but that asking someone who interests you is taking a step to perhaps spend time with, get to know, and even partner with someone who is truly appealing to you, you can be your agent of change.
How to make the first move on a guy
A man will find it appealing when you make the first move; either via text or by being flirtatious with him in person. It will almost certainly light a fire in his heart as well. So, how do you go about it?
Ask him if he has a girlfriend
It is crucial because it's unsettling to try to pick up a guy who's already taken. Aside from his words, you can pay attention to his body language. By asking if he's romantically involved with someone, you are interested in his situation. If you are making a move on a friend, you probably already know the answer, so try something like, "I'm surprised a wonderful guy like you is still single."
Make an offer to buy him a drink
It does work! Most guys are wowed by a lady who takes the initiative and buys them a drink. Gender stereotypes are gradually fading, and men like to feel appreciated. You could even make it personal—for example, if you have a signature drink, you could begin buying him.
Complement the guy
Girls enjoy hearing that they look great or that they are desired when dating; it is the same with men. These assertions will strengthen your relationship, whether it's a simple compliment to start his day or something more profound. You should also laugh. It may appear obvious, but most people forget to smile at the person they're with.
If you're pleased to see him, your facial expression should reflect. Give him a smart smile when you make eye contact while making sure he gets the message. The message is delivered effectively with little effort on your part—there is no need for a break in the playful banter you to engage him.
How common is it for a girl to make the first move?
Source: UGC
It is not only about the man approaching a girl. Approaching a man makes a girl feel good. It's great to say "I want this" and go for it, just like any goal or anything outside your comfort zone. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll feel proud of yourself for being self-sufficient and fearless. It's an attractive quality to have the confidence to approach a man and make a move.
Self-assured girls do not seek approval or extra attention from others. Your confidence does not appear anywhere; confident people have a strong sense of self-esteem. Flattery is one of the quickest ways to open the door to further conversations.
As a lady make a good impression on a man, your compliment should sound genuine and meaningful. Flattery strokes their ego, making them feel valued and as if their attention is an award.
Is it bad for the girl to make the first move?
Is it acceptable for a woman to initiate a relationship? Making the first move should have nothing to do with how men perceive women. However, it is interesting that there appear to be more men who want women to make a move than women who do. Women who put themselves out there and start relationships have a higher success rate than those who wait for someone to find them.
Furthermore, when a girl makes the first move, they have better sexual experiences. It's so important that girls know what they appreciate in a partner and that they unapologetically look for those qualities when dating. Rather than waiting for someone else to make the first move, they should conscientiously seek out the right person.
Can girls take the first step?
They certainly can. It is okay to ask someone out on a first date. If a girl wants to, she can make the first move, although most girls prefer not to. They believe that doing so will make them appear less feminine.
What is the first step in a relationship?
The honeymoon phase is always the first stage of a relationship. When a couple initially gets together, it is often the first, sweeping romanticism that absorbs them, including an all-consuming thrill in your partner's presence and passionate love making.
How long does it take for a girl to be ready for a relationship?
Because everyone is different, there is no set time. It all depends on how long you have known the person and what you find to be the most effective.
What do guys think if a girl makes the first move?
The majority of men like to initiate contact. Girls who approach men first appear insecure and desperate. They do, however, believe they have drawn a woman's devotion and attention.
What prevents you from stepping outside of your comfort zone with all of this in mind? Get out there and try it! Speak with the hot guy at a party or the bus stop without being shy! Take advantage of the benefits of increased confidence, potential dates, and a future relationship if all goes well. Making the first move can make dating more fun because the old, limiting rules no longer apply. Accept your newfound power and enjoy the ride.
READ ALSO: 70+ text messages to make her fall in love with you in 2022
Legit.ng recently published an article on 70+ text messages to make her fall in love with you in 2022. The finest technique for gaining a woman's heart has always been romantic SMS messages. Your crush isn't as difficult as you believe. All you need are some well-written and heartfelt love notes to keep the conversation going.
A lady keeps track of passionate text messages that made her wild about you and may bring them up again years later. Choose the wording from this list that best expresses your true feelings and email it right now.
Source: Legit.ng
Mercy Mbuthia (Lifestyle writer) Mercy Mbuthia is a content writer with five years of experience writing on various topics, including biographies, entertainment, and lifestyle. She joined the Legit team in 2019. Mercy earned a Master of Science (Food, Nutrition & Dietetics) from Dedan Kimathi University in 2022. Her articles have appeared on several media sites such as The Health Channel, The Nation, Tekrati, ValiantCEO and Celebrity Leader. In 2023, Mercy finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. Email: mercymmbuthia18@gmail.com
Mary Ugbodaga (Lifestyle Journalist) Mary Ugbodaga is a Legit.ng journalist with 7 years of experience in journalism and media communications. She graduated from Covenant University in 2018 with a Bachelor's degree in Mass Communication/Media Studies. Mary previously worked as a journalist at TheCable, CNBC AFRICA, Voice of Nigeria, KPMG Nigeria. Email: mary.ugbodaga@corp.legit.ng.
