Best dad jokes and puns of 2019

Friday, November 01, 2019 at 10:05 AM by Regina Stets 4 min read

A dad joke meme contains special kind of humorous lines and puns which are incredibly unfunny and cringe-worthy but, somehow, could be funny from a father's perspective. If you are ready for a huge portion of embarrassment, check out some of the best dad jokes.

Despite being corny and cheesy, dad jokes 2019 have gained huge popularity and are being told by people of all ages. Quite often, they are featured in the media, especially in comedy movies and shows. Even if people do not outright admit it, many of them appreciate good dad jokes.

Best dad jokes for kids

You can tell these funniest dad jokes to children, and it is guaranteed that they will at least chuckle at your sense of humour.

Why does the crab never share? Because he's shellfish!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? - A gummy bear!
Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is? - A trumpet.
What do you call a fake noodle? - An impasta.
What did one ocean say to the other? - Nothing. They just waved.
Why can't a leopard hide? - Because he's always spotted.
Which is faster, hot or cold? - Hot, because you can catch a cold.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? - A carrot!
What do you call a magic dog? - A Labracadabrador.
What do elves do after school? - Their gnome work.

Stupid dad jokes

These may be embarrassing, but this type of humour is so popular for a reason. Some people might call them dumb dad jokes; however, there will always be others who secretly love good dad puns.

What did the slow tomato say to the others? - Don't worry; I'll ketchup.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? - It's very time-consuming.
I don't trust the stairs. They're always up to something.
Why do melons have weddings? - Because they cantaloupe.
What kind of cheese can never be yours? - Nacho cheese.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? - Ten tickles.
How do celebrities stay cool? - They have many fans.
Did you hear that I'm reading a book about anti-gravity? It's impossible to put down.
Why are skeletons so calm? - Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are elevator jokes so good? - They work on so many levels.
I’ll call you later. - Don’t call me later, call me Dad!
What time did the man go to the dentist? - Tooth hurty.
How do you organize a space party? - You planet.
What does a baby computer call his father? - Data.
What fish is the best fighter? - The swordfish.
I lost some weight last month. But now it found me again.
Two walls arrange a date – "I’ll meet you at the corner."
Why Davids should never lose their ID? Because then you have to call them Davs.
What do you call a sheep without legs? A cloud.
You should always keep your cool when handling justice. Otherwise, it would become just warm.

Dirty dad jokes

Dad jokes meme — Image: legit.ng
Source: Original

Jokes from this category are not child-friendly, but they can work in the company of close adult friends or with your significant other. Just make sure they are fine with terrible puns from the R-rated category. Some of these dad jokes meme are slightly suggestive while some are more explicit, so you will need to filter them depending on who you are talking to.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? - How do you breathe through that little thing?
Where did they find the missing nurse? - Under a doc.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? - He only comes once a year.
Why do vegans give better head? - They're used to eating nuts.
Why does a mermaid wear seashells? - Because she outgrew her B-shells!
What are the three shortest words in the English language? - Is it in?
Why did the cop sit on the toilet? - To do his duty.
Why did the ketchup blush? - Because he saw the salad dressing.
My son is now at that age where he's curious about the human body. I guess I'll have to hide it somewhere else now.
My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower. He has serious selfie steam issues.