Funny bald jokes that will crack you up and make your day
Most of you have probably come across bald men. They could be our fathers, brothers, close relatives, or friends. There are plenty of bald jokes you can tease them with. However, understand the nature of your friends first before using some jokes on them.
Source: Original
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Do you have friends with receding hairlines whom you would love to tease? There are several dirty bald jokes you can use on them. Ensure that they are in the mood to be teased before you can do so, lest you lose friends.
Top funny bald jokes that will crack you
Bald is bold, and sometimes it is downright hilarious. Bald jokes have a way of tickling everyone’s funny bone. Here is a list of bald jokes that will brighten your day and leave you giggling.
Best bald jokes
There are numerous bald man jokes you can use. Some of these bald head jokes are sensitive, so you should be careful when using them.
- I am not saying my friend's losing his hair, but lice are starting to picket about deforestation.
- People with hairless heads have problems. You cannot pretend that the hair you find in food is your own.
- Get some polish and see if you can make a mirror from his head
- What did a guy with a hairless head say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I will never part with the comb.
- I got my father's weak chin, receding hairline, and a big, hook nose. It was the strangest will reading I have ever attended.
- What if all bareheaded and bearded people really just have hair cut upside down?
- When did the guy with a hairless head leave the wig shop without a wig? Because he forgot toupee.
- What do you call it when a person shaves their head bald to blend in with cancer patients? Chemoflage.
- Your mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
- Don't waste money on a hair restorer. Just paint a series of little rabbits on your bald head. From a distance, they look like hares.
- What's the difference between a monkey, an orphan, a prince, and a Bald Bill? A monkey has a hairy parent, an orphan has nary a parent, a prince is an heir apparent, and Bald Bill has no hair, apparently.
- You're so bald; the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
- Doctor, doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in? Yes, here is a paper bag!
- Teacher: I see you don't cut your hair any longer. Fred: No, sir, I cut it shorter.
- After accepting an invitation to dance with Bald Bill, a young woman wanted to lighten the mood and said, "Honey, God was good to you! He gave you a handsome face and room for another one.
Roast bald jokes
Source: UGC
Sometimes, bald people joke about their heads. There are so many reasons for doing so. They could do it purposely for fun or to conceal shame. Some of these bald men jokes are hilarious.
- If I ever start to go bald, I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head… From a distance, it would look like a hare.
- My wife is leaving me because I'm going bald. I'm not bothered though. It's hair loss.
- I walked into a barbershop, as I entered; I thought to myself, "What am I doing hair?"
- Why don't bald people use keys? Because they don't have any locks.
- Get some polish and see if you can make a mirror from his head.
- I wouldn't say I was going bald, but... When I asked my barber to cut my hair, he replied, "Which one?"
- Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there is your diamond in the rough.
- With a body like this, who needs hair?
- I'm not saying you are going bald, but you'll find Waldo before you find your hairline.
- Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
- After years of being bare, the idea of hair doesn't sound too bad. It's starting to grow on me.
- There are no bald people; there are only gingers with initiatives.
- My friend's been losing his hair and is really insecure about it, so I suggested he should get a transplant. He didn't go for it, though - he thought he'd look stupid with a kidney on his head.
- You are so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
- Your profile says you have a lot of dark wavy hair. Oh! I do, it is on my back.
One-liner bald jokes
Source: UGC
Some of these bald guy jokes can be delivered in single sentences, and thus the name bald people jokes one-liner. Discover some of them below.
- With a body like this, who needs hair!
- Beauty is only skin deep... I guess that's why you have hair.
- Be careful when you rub it; I get taller.
- His head is brighter than my future.
- Most men use their testosterone to grow hair; bald men put it to better use.
- What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hairline.
- My wife says that it's a solar panel for my love machine.
- Did you know that hair is really dead? I guess that means your head is a corpse.
- How can you avoid falling hair? Get out of the way.
- You are so bald, the reflection of your head is blinding people in India.
- The best thing about being tall and bald is that people just think you are tall.
- You are so bare. When you get a shower, you get brainwashed.
- You are so bare when you wear a turtle neck; you look like roll-on deodorant!
- Sorry, but baldness isn't anywhere near as bad as a dodgy haircut. You've not got a leg to stand on.
- Women in my focus group say a bald-headed man is trustworthy. He has nothing to hide.
Dark bald jokes
Source: UGC
Baldness is a natural and normal part of life, and it's perfectly okay to joke about it and share a good laugh. Below are meme bald jokes that bring a smile to your face.
- I first noticed I was going bald when it took longer and longer to wash my face.
- What’s the difference between a bald man and an egg? Eggs get laid.
- What do you call a balding web developer? A 404-head.
- You're so bare. I can rub your head to see into the future.
- Your hairline's so far back you need binoculars to see it.
- My friend's hairline did not fall out. It fell down.
- What do you call lice on the hairless head of a man? Homeless.
- My friend is having a no hair day.
- Getting bald isn't about losing hair, it is about getting more head.
- The best thing about being tall and having a bald patch is that people think you're just tall.
- You are so bare. Bob Hope would refer to you as 'grandpa.'
- Imagine having a head which resembles a brand-new pot!
- Only a man with an extended forehead wakes up looking good.
- When do you know you’re going bald? When you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
- What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hairline.
What are bald jokes?
Bald jokes are humorous remarks or puns that playfully tease people who have little or no hair on their heads. They often focus on the appearance of a bald head or the experience of hair loss.
Are bald jokes good to use?
Generally, bald jokes are not considered good to use, especially if directed at someone without their consent. They can be hurtful or offensive to people who are sensitive about their hair loss. It is best to avoid making jokes about someone's appearance unless you are sure they are comfortable with it.
What are some nicknames for bald people?
Some common nicknames for bald people include "Baldy," "Chrome Dome," "Cue Ball," and "Smooth Top."
What's another name for a bald head?
Another name for a bald head is often "dome" or "noggin." Some people also use terms like "smooth crown" or "polished pate" to describe a hairless scalp.
How to compliment a bald head?
To compliment a bald head, you can focus on its positive aspects. For example, you might say, "Your head shape is really nice," or "Your bald look really suits you."
Bald jokes prove that laughter truly is the best medicine, especially when it comes to embracing life’s quirks. These are some of the fantastic bald jokes you can use on your bald friends. You can share them with other friends as well.
Legit.ng posted a list of sweet good morning messages to tell a woman to make her smile and fall in love with you. Everyone would like to hear sweet and sincere words from someone who is deeply special to them.
Good morning messages for her are one of the most effective ways to express affection. It's romantic to wake up to a lovely text from a partner. Brighten her day by sending her a lovely good morning message.
Source: Legit.ng
