Major marriage problems: why do marriages fail?
What marriage problems do couples face these days? When two people get united into a family, they think a marriage to be a fairy tale. Sooner or later, life makes them face another side of this coin. How can you cope with difficulties and save your marriage from failing, when there is no visible way out?
There is no better feeling than love. It unites hearts and souls around the world. When two people get married, they have no idea of the challenges they'll face. Moreover, they believe that marry tunes of love, and fairy butterflies will surround them until the rest of their married lives.
What if one day things go wrong? What if just one mistake can cause the relationships to fail? In this article, you will find out the primary causes of marriage failure that will help you prevent a great family disaster in the future.
Find out the top 14 causes of marriage failure to avoid them in your life
Many married couples fail in their marriages due to many reasons. They lose the taste of freshness in their relationships and turn their eventful life into a routine, full of conflicts upon any reason.
1. You believe that marriage is a kind of “a contract”
Most people get involved in marriage with the idea that all the duties in it should be shared 50x50. Remember, marriage is not a business contract, where both sides are obliged to perform certain actions under mentioned conditions. It is more like a lifelong partnership, built on love and understanding.
2. Lack of communication in marriage
Marriage can be compared with a book: when you buy it, you smell of its sheets, you read it with excitement, perceiving each word. However, when you read it for the second time, you still experience those feelings, but they are more subdued. The more you read, the less you wish to continue and explore something new in those words.
The same thing happens with a just married couple: everything is new, fresh and impressive. They learn each other, discover habits, and peculiarities of each other using communication 24-hours a day. However, a bit later, their communication reduces due to many factors like bad moods, tiredness, engagement into running the house, etc. Furthermore, people are more likely to say nothing if there is something they do not like. This does no use.
Discuss your problems with a partner, talk to him about his day at work, ask for advice, show him how much he means for you, how much you rely on his support and need understanding.
READ ALSO: Best tips for happy married life
3. Lack of investment
The point is not about money, it' s about work on building your relationship. Marriage is like studying at the university, each day you learn something new, and you have to work hard to avoid possible conflict in marriage. Develop your skills on being a good wife or husband by reading books, attending seminars and courses. Do not be shy to consult a professional or ask for help (for example, another happy couple).
4. Relationships problems
Any couple at the very beginning has difficulties. It occurs because every person has his own way of life before marriage. Small habits of a partner may sometimes seem a “huge” problem. However, you can act wisely and convince your partner to get rid of his habit, referring to the harm on his or your health, family budget, etc.
5. Money matters
It might sound strange but money can also become a leading cause of marriage fail. All of us know that a family is a unity with one common budget and expenses. Both partners earn money and increase the income. However, a small salary may become a serious matter, when one starts quarreling and hears the words “It all happens because you earn too little money. You have to work more”. What if your partner has no other opportunity to get more? He works and does its part (even if it is small) for the good of your family. That deserves respect too.
Remember that a man is the “head”, while his wife is the “neck”. If you wish your husband brings more money, you should show your support and avoid criticizing him.
6. Lack of forgiveness and the ability to forgive
It is up to human to quarrel and offense other people. However, this cause can be easily overcome if you allow forgiveness into your heart and apologize. Tell your partner about the reason for this offense, discuss it and let him show his opinions. Perhaps, you were not right either. Do not be afraid to accept your mistakes.
READ ALSO: Best books on marriage and relationships every couple should read
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7. Failed expectations
It is said, never expect anything from people and you won’t get disappointed. Sometimes, people get married to “the image of a perfect man/woman”. He or she expects one another one “to read his/her thoughts” and do or say exactly what she or he needs at the moment. However, the work of male and female minds differs a bit, and we look at the same things with a totally different opinion. If you wish your partner do what you actually need, act easy –talk to your partner about it.
8. Lack of flexibility
It is one of the primary reasons for a failed marriage. When all the things are done, and duties are shared, it seems nothing could disturb your perfect way of life. However, it is up to the human to get ill, breed children and have a cat or a dog – which brings huge changes and demand flexibility from both partners.
The problem is that rather often, one of them “is too busy” to help: to walk a dog, feed the baby and help with dinner or housekeeping.
9. Social opinion
Due to a busy way of life, most people do not have time to spend on building relationships. Moreover, their family members create a certain pressure while saying “What? Are you still unmarried?!” Do not marry unless you are ready. Social opinion is the last thing you should worry about when building your life.
10. Lack of intimacy and cheating
This occurs, when a couple starts to speak different languages due to the many reasons: lack of care, emotional warmth, and support, the loss of former attraction, too eventful way of life linked with alcohol and big parties. Also, some couples simply have problems with sexual relationships. It is always better to seek professional help then suffer in silence.
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11. Early marriage and a lack of proper readiness
To get married in your 20s is a rather widespread phenomenon. Young people get married and think that that future will be careless, cloudless, and provided with complete comfort. However, a lack of enough preparation for marriage often leads to the inability to cope with difficulties and couples divorce.
12. An idea that the work of your spouse is “Your happiness”
Marriage is a partnership not the interaction of an employer and employee. Your spouse works as hard as you do. That’s why he/she deserves reciprocal care and dedication.
13. Kids first
When a couple decides to have a child or a few, it doesn’t think how much sacrifice it will need. An excessive concern for the needs of a child may cause misunderstanding, conflicts, problems with intimate relations which may lead to cheating.
14. Foolish advice
Many couples, who are at the edge of divorce, prefer to consult friends or colleagues who are also dealing with relationship issues, rather than consult professionals. Do not let other people make your marriage fail because they are your relatives or friends.
Marriage is easy, but not without it's own challenges. However, one should stay calm in any situation, act wisely, love, support and be responsible for your family!
READ ALSO: 10 causes of divorce in Nigeria
Source: Legit.ng
