How to chat with a girl you like? Useful tips to impress her
Chatting with a girl you like is quite challenging if you are shy or not good at striking conversations. If you don't know how to impress a girl by chatting but are willing to learn, discover essential and romantic tips to use from this article. Dr. Sam Ayila, a marriage counselor, relationship coach, and sex therapist, offers guidance on communicating with a girl you love.
Source: UGC
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Anxiety and nerves can hinder you from making great connections in life particularly with girls. Although girls might seem intimidating you are shy, talking to the girl you like is one of the happiest feelings in the world. Discover how to chat with a girl you like and get her interested in you.
How to chat a girl for the first time?
Learning how to chat with a girl you like takes a process but it's incredibly rewarding at the end. What might seem impossible at the begging is actually quite doable with both will and practice. Before you approach the girl you like or even text them, you need to prepare adequately to get rid of the nerves and make a great first impression.
Prepare to talk to the girl you like
Just like everything in life, preparation is key. With the growing use of mobile phones, people have lost the art of conversation. This applies to just about everyone so learning how to strike a conversation and what to say is important. This is even more important when learning how to chat with a girl you like.
Learn your interests
Has you mind ever gone blank when you try to strike a conversation? Anxiety can wipe your memory clean and in that moment you are in front of the girl you like, you go speechless. To avoid this, learn about yourself.
What do you like? Your dislikes? Food you enjoy? Your favorite show? Write them all down. Your memory will do the rest when you are mid conversation.
Practice speaking out loud
Source: UGC
Did you know that speaking out loud to yourself boosts your confidence? It also develops your speaking skills. So find a place you can get comfortable and rehearse the conversation you will have.
Talk to girls in your life
If you have a sister, a friend, a neighbor, speak to them. It will make you less nervous when speaking to the girl you actually like. Bonus points if you can ask them for tips on how to chat with a girl you like.
Learn her interests
If you met through a mutual friend, you can ask them about her. You can scroll her profile online to learn more about her. This helps you find common likes and interests. It's also okay if you have no point of contact to learn anything about her. You could always learn more about her when you talk.
How to overcome fear
Dr. Sam Ayila, a marriage counselor, relationship coach, and sex therapist provided practical strategies to overcome fear and boost confidence when conversing with a girl you love. He said:
Nervousness is often a function of complexity (especially Inferiority) or where your approach is not for genuine relationships. When you are not real, just one sincere question will unsettle you. But if you must avoid nervousness, you must:
- Be sure of what you feel and slam the consequences (it is not a crime to feel that way and express it)
- Be willing to accept any response (good or bad). You will be relaxed if you are ready for any answers.
- Avoid anxiety as you approach.
How to approach a girl you like
When you are ready to talk to her, keep in mind that first impressions are very important. Within a few second of meeting anyone, they can already decide if they are interested in you or not. Girls appreciate a man who leaves a great impression.
Here's how to ensure you leave a good impression:
Good hygiene
Groom yourself well before making the first contact. Keep up a great daily hygiene habits that include bathing, brushing your teeth, taking care of your hair. Wear deodorant and clip your fingernails often.
You can wear cologne if you prefer but nothing too strong. A mild scent is best particularly one that needs someone to be really close to you to smell. Less is always more with cologne.
Dress Well
Source: UGC
Ever heard of the saying, clothes make the man? Wear clean clothes and combinations that match well. Neutral colors can be good if you are a beginner in fashion. However, if you like color, you can search online for great tips on how to match colors.
Be on your best behavior
Beyond looks what makes the best impression are polite manners. Be kind, respectful and treat her how you would treat someone you care about. Remember it's not just her who deserves your respect, everyone around you does too.
Many girls have said they ended a date because of how the man treated other people, particularly service people. As you learn how to chat with a girl you like, you will see that being a decent human goes a long way.
Chatting with the girl you like
At this point, you should well-prepared and ready to talk to girls. With the above tips, you should be confident that you can hold a topic conversation and know how to chat with a girl you like.
Below are topics you can discuss, ways to start the conversation and continue it, and tells to know if she is interested in you.
Things to talk about with a girl
Source: UGC
Choose topics to discuss with a lady wisely. Some suit people who just met, while other are better discussed by people who have been friends for a long time. Your intentions also matter. You should only seek to know a woman deeper if you want a long-term relationship with her and not just to lead her on.
Learn from the following list what to say to a girl you like online or things to discuss with her face-to-face:
- Ask about her past or present hobbies and passions.
- Talk about thrilling things or hobbies she wants to try.
- Discuss fascinating things that happened to her in the past or that day.
- Find out meals she likes or would love to try if you want to cook for her or take her out.
- Ask about her daily routine to know she likes to structure her life.
- Ask about the flowers she likes if you want to buy her some.
- Discuss inspiring books she had read.
- Ask about her role models. They can be her family, celebrities, historical figures, etc.
- Find out the type of music she likes so that you can make a collaborative playlist of your favorite songs for morning workouts, date nights, etc.
- Discuss how she likes to receive affection. It will help you love her the right way.
- Find out about restaurants she likes or would love to try if you want to take her out.
- Inquire about her dream career to know if she has career aspirations.
- Chat about countries or places she would love to visit or live in.
- If you plan to invite her for a date night, ask about her favorite TV shows or movies.
- Find out her fears and worries to understand what can make her anxious or stressed.
- Talk about what relaxes her when she is stressed to understand how you can help her relax in such times.
- Find out her health issues, fitness goals, eating habits, cooking styles, and workout habits.
- Discuss how she handles conflicts, especially with family and friends, e.g., takes a break or faces the situation head-on.
- Find out the type of friends she keeps and those she would love to be part of your circle.
- If you want a long-term relationship with her, ask about her family, their religious and cultural practices and beliefs, social status, etc.
- If you have been friends for a long time, talk about her past relationships and find out if she is ready to move on and build a healthier relationship with another person.
- If you are long-term friends, discuss her religious and cultural beliefs, financial sending habits and management skills, parenting styles, etc., to compare yours to determine if you are compatible for a long-term relationship.
How to start a conversation with a girl
Source: UGC
After you have established topics women love to talk about with men and filtered them out to find out things you feel comfortable discussing with women, here are tips for starting a conversation when you see a woman you like:
- Motivate yourself with positive affirmations like "I've got this."
- Walk towards her confidently when you see her.
- Start with warm greetings.
- Speak in a lower tone and from your diaphragm.
- Maintain a moderate volume after she responds to your greetings.
- Please do not ask her any questions. Instead, introduce yourself.
- Monitor her body language to determine if she is in a talking mood.
- Check for these non-verbal signals before proceeding with the conversation:
| Signs she’s interested in talking to you | Signs she is not interested in talking to you |
| She maintains eye contact for over two seconds, blushes, winks, or looks at you severally. | She avoids eye contact or diverts her eyes. |
| She smiles at you, licks or bites her lip. | She frowns or has a tense facial expression |
| She makes efforts to look more attractive, e.g., her hair, plays with her earrings, pulls the short skirt towards the knees, etc. | She does not make efforts to look more attractive. |
| Her body looks open (relaxed and freely moving arms or chest pushed outward) | She folds her arms, clenches her purse, or hides her chest. |
| She turns to face you (with her head, knees, or torso) and leans toward you when you talk. | She turns away from you or begins to talk to somebody else. |
| She sways her hips or flips her hair when walking past you (often moving slower). | She quickly walks away past you with a rigid posture. |
| She subtly brushes past you or accidentally touches you (women rarely touch someone they’re not interested in on purpose) | She avoids getting close to you or stands at a distance. |
- If you notice she is interested in talking to you, ask her name, then repeat it.
- Ask her to spell her name if you need clarification on its pronunciation.
- Compliment her name, e.g., Jessica; what a unique name!
- Compliment something about her that made her stand out among other ladies in the room, e.g., "I loved how you spoke on stage," "Did you get your captivating eyes from your mom or dad?" etc.
- Ask how she's doing, her day, and so on.
- Start the conversation with something interesting, e.g., "How do you find the music?" "Have you been to this church before?" "What are you reading?" "Isn't it too hot today?
- Move the conversation to anything provoking that both of you, e.g., books, business, technology.
- Avoid awkward topics like politics, parents, or exes on the few first dates or if you just meant her.
During a discussion with Dr. Sam Ayila, also emphasized effective ways to initiate a conversation with a girl, including:
- Observe the environment in which you saw her.
- Imagine what she is doing there.
- Observe her mode, whether she is happy, moody, or just having a quiet time there.
- You can pre-construct your rhymes before you get close to her.
- Your poise must present you with common interests with her for being there.
- Your salutations must be quickly accompanied by the best compliments she has ever heard.
- Spark up a conversation around her reason for being there (either you ask or you already could imagine). So, it's more of talking about her and nothing about you from the beginning.
- Be playful and comical and hype her in your conversation where necessary.
- Make your talks in little bits to allow her to talk, too.
- You can build your conversation around the things she says to you.
How to keep a conversation going with a girl
Source: UGC
You might start to worry about doing things that might unintentionally ruin a fantastic conversation with a lady; ignore those thoughts and stay positive. Once the conversation starts going steady, you must find a way to keep it going.
These tips will help on how to chat with a girl you like and keep your conversation going for longer than you anticipated:
- Make intentional eye contact.
- Slowly exchange an initial glance.
- Avoid darting your eyes toward or away from her.
- Please don't stare at her for longer than 5 seconds.
- Look her in the eye, not staring at her bust or body.
- If you lock eyes, hold her gaze for 3-5 seconds, then slowly look away.
- Maintain eye contact for about 50% of the time you are talking and 75% when listening.
- Remember to blink normally.
- Offer to buy her a delicious meal or drink if she has time.
- Avoid mentioning anything that might make her uncomfortable, such as her facial scar or skin blemish.
- Crack jokes and use corny pick-up lines because women are more attracted to guys who make them laugh.
- Ask for her opinions to make her participate in the conversation, e.g., "I have been looking for a new movie. Can you suggest some?"
Dr. Sam also provided insights into practical ways for guys to initiate and maintain a positive conversation tone. These methods include:
- Appreciate the opportunity to talk with her
- Please don't show up knowing every aspect of life more than her
- Commend her for her views about the issues you talk about
- Don't be too chatty
- Make an offer if it's in a place where you can take a drink or two.
How to talk to girls online
Source: UGC
Feel comfortable enough before talking to a girl online. After checking her posts and tags, it is easy to find a topic she would be interested in. Pay more attention to details. For example, instead of "music," talk about how she "plays the classical guitar."
Below are tips for chanting with a girl online:
- Make a good impression by minding things you post online. Ladies analyze your profile and posts to figure out your personality and lifestyle before responding to your posts. Therefore, post a few things about yourself and avoid obscene pictures and other nasty things.
- Like and comment under her pictures and posts randomly so that she notices you before you slide into her inbox.
- Inbox her with a joke or funny pick-up line and ask if it is a good time for her to chat.
- If she confirms she had time to chat, introduce yourself.
- Complement some of her posts or photos. You can flirt a bit but use respectful language.
- Ask her name and complement it e.g. Jane is a beautiful name.
- Use her posts and pictures to strike conversations like her studies, dream career, songs on her playlist, places she has traveled to, her dream destination, etc.
- Send her photos of interesting places you have been to or places you love spending time. She will trust you more if your current photos prove you are not using a pseudo account.
- Keep the conversation positive. Don't complain about your day, job, family, etc., especially financial issues.
- Don't ask her for photos, especially not naked ones. It is the biggest turn-off for a mature girl.
- Notice more than her creativity, intellect, hobbies, and other things that can help you plan an exciting date for her.
- Send spontaneous but friendly morning and goodnight texts. Do not be too romantic till you meet her. She might assume you are obsessed with her.
- Do not send her many messages every time, especially if she does not respond immediately, because she will think you are clingy.
- Pay attention to how long your conversations last. If the chats last for hours, she likes you enough to want to meet you.
- Show you are serious about her by asking her out at a public place between 8 am and 4 pm to show you care about her safety and security.
How to chat with a girl without being boring
Source: UGC
It's one thing to learn how to chat with a girl you like and a whole other thing to worry about being boring. More often than not, the fear is bigger than the reality. However, if you are worried about being boring, here are three things to keep in mind when chatting:
- Find things you have in common and talk about them.
- Talk about your experiences and tell her interesting stories about yourself.
- Find funny topics to engage her in and make her laugh.
Topics to chat with a girl on WhatsApp at night
You can have fun conversations with a girl at night on WhatsApp on several topics. Here are some interesting ones to keep you both awake:
- Highlights of your day
- Future plans
- Hobbies and interests
- Weird dreams
- Stories of childhood
- Celebrity crushes
How do you start chat with an unknown girl?
Source: UGC
Start by introducing yourself and telling her where you met her or saw her. Mention a mutual friend if you have any. Then wait for her to respond before sending another message. Based on her response, you can know if she is receptive.
Remember to send her your photo (with her permission) so that she can know she is chatting with a human not a bot or something.
When should you walk away from a chat with a girl?
If a girl doesn't respond to your advances or turns you down, walk away. Read her attitude or better yet ask her straightforward if she is interested in continuing the conversation. If she says no, accept it and move on.
Hope you have learned something about how to chat with a girl you like from this article. Practice these tips to master how to impress a girl by chatting online and when speaking with a lady face-to-face.
Legit.ng shared deep love messages for a girl. Girls are often more in touch with their romantic side than guys. Sometimes, this leads to differences in what a girl expects from her boyfriend and what she gets.
Love messages are the simplest yet most powerful ways to show affection to a loved one. Have you considered sending your girl messages of love but lack the words? Find out from the article.
Source: Legit.ng
Peris Walubengo (Lifestyle writer) Peris Walubengo is a content creator with 3 years of experience in writing informational and entertainment articles, researching, editing, and proofreading. She has a Bachelor of Commerce & IT from the University of Nairobi (class of 2019). She joined Legit.ng in April 2022. She covers bios, marketing & finance, tech, fashion & beauty, recipes, movies and video game reviews, culture & traveling. In 2023, Peris finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. Email: perisrodah254@gmail.com.
Adrianna Simwa (Lifestyle writer) Adrianna Simwa is a content writer at Legit.ng where she has worked since mid-2022. She has written for many periodicals on a variety of subjects, including news, celebrities, and lifestyle, for more than three years. She has worked for The Hoth, The Standard Group and Triple P Media. Adrianna graduated from Nairobi University with a Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) in 2020. In 2023, Simwa finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. You can reach her through her email: adriannasimwa@gmail.com
