Does she love you? 35 good and bad signs to test if your girlfriend loves you
You can be in a relationship with someone for a long time but doubt if she loves you enough to marry you. You should see signs she loves you deeply to confirm that your relationship is heading in the right direction. This article will teach you how to know if your girlfriend loves you by observing the good and bad signs. Ogechukwu Nzewi, an experienced relationship, marriage, and life coach, offers valuable insights into recognizing trustworthy indicators, warning signs, and practical methods to nurture and enhance relationships or marriage.
Source: UGC
Men ready to settle down usually as themselves, "does she love me?" due to insecurities, or they wonder why they deserve the amazing women they are courting. If some of her actions seem suspicious, this article will teach you how to know if your girlfriend loves you or is wasting your time.
Importance of good communication
During an interview with Ogechukwu Nzewi, an experienced relationship, marriage, and life coach, she emphasized that effective communication is the lifewire for every relationship. She further elaborated that couples must engage in communication that resonates with both partners, fostering a more profound understanding. She said:
Most of the problems we encounter in relationships today are simply because of a communication gap, or somebody miscommunicated, and the party needs to decode or understand that communication. The other person assumes that they have said it and believes that the receiver understands it, not knowing that the spouse or partner did not understand or has read another meaning into what they said.
Understanding our spouse/partner's love language is the best way to communicate our love with them. This can be achieved by asking questions, not assuming as assumption is the lowest form of intelligence, and how the person reacts to what you do for them.
Ogechukwu also outlined steps to cultivate effective communication in a relationship, which include:
- Understand Communication Patterns: Study each other's background, upbringing, family dynamics, and life experiences to comprehend communication styles.
- Establish Unique Communication Patterns: To prevent misunderstandings, develop distinct communication approaches tailored for both partners, such as through affirmations, thoughtful gestures, physical touch, quality time, and more.
How do you know if your girlfriend really loves you?
If something feels odd about your relationship, learn how to know if your girlfriend still loves you. Detecting signs she loves you deeply can help you avoid jumping to conclusions. The knowledge will also help you not ignore red flags that can hurt you more.
Worrying signs that your girlfriend doesn't love you
Understand red signs indicating she does not love you as much as you love her to avoid entertaining someone using you. Re-evaluate your relationship to determine if being with her is worth it. Below are some worrying signs you should be aware of:
1. She takes more than she gives (emotionally, financially, etc.)
Some women believe the world revolves around them, everyone owes them, but they do not owe anyone anything. If she has high expectations of you, needs you to care for her, expects you to listen to her, and demands you do a lot of good things for her, but she refuses to do the same for you, then this is not real love.
2. She hides her troubled and dirty past
Everyone has been through challenging situations that influence their current behavior. She might have struggled with poverty, child abuse, narcissistic exes, and many things that make her distrust people. If she constantly hides most of these things from her boyfriend, she does not love him enough to open up.
3. She disrespects you in public and in private
The woman you love should respect your things, emotions, and decisions. If she continuously overlooks these things and does whatever she wants, she is a disrespectful woman, and you will have a hard time trying to earn her obedience. A woman respects and submits to a man she loves without being coerced or manipulated.
4. She puts other people and things above you
Your girlfriend prioritizes her man above other people if she genuinely loves him. For instance, she should cancel plans that are not important to focus on essential projects she had with you.
Source: UGC
5. She rarely shows affection for you (body language and expressions) when you are in the public
Notice her body language and expressions when you are alone with her and when she is around other people. A woman fooling you does not like the public display of affection. She should be willing to show some affection towards you in public the same way she does in private.
6. She often compares you with her ex-boyfriends or other men
When a woman is head over heels in love, she will not think about her exes, miss them, or compares you to them. In her eyes, you will always be the best option if she should choose between you and her exes. It is alarming if she often brings her exes or other men into your conversations and arguments.
7. She stays in touch with her exes and lies about it
If she is madly in love with you, she will limit how much she communicates with her exes. You cannot demand she cuts off all her ex-boyfriends but expect her to set boundaries when communicating with them.
8. She does not let you meet her family and friends
A woman who wants a serious relationship should introduce you to her family and close friends at some point. It shows you are important to her, and she wants you to meet the people she values most. If she constantly avoids introducing you to her family or friends, she wants to date you without commitments.
9. She does not want to meet your friends and family
Every woman would be excited to meet her boyfriend's friends and family. She might avoid it because she is nervous they won't approve of your relationship. Reassure her and build her confidence if you notice such fears in her. Otherwise, it would help if you asked about her long-term plans for your relationship.
10. She talks about her future but does not include you
If your girlfriend often talks about her life goals but hardly mentions you, she does not see you as a part of them. She will do this if you have been dating for a short time to avoid sounding desperate but will gradually start including you in her plans as your relationship continues.
11. She excludes herself from your future plans
You should sit down and talk if your girlfriend usually excludes herself from your future plans. Perhaps you have different goals in life, which make her not see you as her potential husband. You can pursue your goals independently but still, find ways to make your goals mutually beneficial to both of you.
Source: UGC
12. She often flirts with other men
There is nothing wrong if your girlfriend interacting with other men. However, there should be health-friendly boundaries between her and her male friends. It would help if you watched for flirty behavior between her and other men. You be worried about a woman entertaining flirty text messages, responding to flirty comments on social media, often receiving gifts from men you, etc.
13. She is not jealous of you flirting with other women
A clear sign that a woman does not have feelings for you is her being okay with you flirting with other women. She should express how she feels about your unsettling closeness to a woman who is also in love with you. People in love naturally feel jealous when others try to steal their partners.
14. She does not miss your affection or spending time with you
A woman should not be clingy, but you should worry if she does not miss you. Your girlfriend should keep in touch with you at least once daily and meet you often if you are within her reach. If she usually cancels your plans to meet, can go a day without talking to you, etc., she is getting enough attention from someone else or other things, but you are her priority.
15. She is clingy, and it is suffocating you
Your woman should give you enough time to spend with yourself, family, or friends. She should occupy herself with her studies, job, family, friends, hobbies, and other things when you are not available to spend time with her. If you feel tired of her always wanting you to chat with her and be with her physically, he suffocates you. Clinginess is a sign that a woman does not love you. On the contrary, she is infatuated or obsessed with you, which is unhealthy.
16. You have caught her lying to you many times
A woman is honest with the man she loves but can lie to him to manipulate him. For instance, she fakes problems like sickness, house rent debts, etc., to get money from you. If you notice this behavior, understand that the woman does not genuinely love you. If she does, your relationship will be rocky because she cannot drop the lying habit.
17. She does not care much about your interests and hobbies
You bond better when you share the same interests and hobbies. A couple should make sacrifices for one another. Even though she does not like your hobbies, she should be willing to engage in them occasionally. It would help if you also did the same for her because this is one of the best ways a couple can create lasting memories.
18. She is cheating on you
Unfaithfulness is a sensitive topic, and people have different options about it. Some will advise you to take her back because people change for the better. Others will tell you to move on because once a cheat is always a cheat. You will have to decide what to do with your relationship when you discover your girlfriend is cheating.
Signs a woman loves you
Source: UGC
Signs your girlfriend does not truly love you should alarm you to leave her alone. There are many things a girl will do if she loves you. Below are signs that show you have something special with the person you love:
18. She respects and cares for your family and friends
Your girlfriend should love and respect your family and friends. She is a gem if they feel at ease around her in your presence or absence. She should allow you to resolve issues when your friend and family upset her.
19. She shares financial responsibilities with you
A woman who loves you will share financial obligations with you. She should be able to find a source of income to support you financially. A man should not expect her to shoulder 50% or 100% of the household's financial responsibilities, but she should be able to chip in the best way she sees.
20. She often communicates with you and worries when you are out of reach
A woman wants you to communicate with her almost daily after dating for a while. You should also expect the same from her. Share romantic texts any time of the day and worry about each other if one of you is out of reach.
21. She respects your principles, values, and boundaries
Respecting your partner's respects your principles, values, and limits is essential. A relationship can only work out if both parties have different principles and values (moral, religious, cultural, etc.) and disrespect each other's boundaries. Before jumping into a serious relationship, discuss your principles, values, and limits.
22. She is proud of you in public and private
She will speak highly of you to her coworkers, friends, family, and everyone if she genuinely loves you. She should display some affection for you in public, post you online (if both of you are okay with that), and do more to show she is proud of you.
23. Your relationship inspires people around you to fall in love and fight for their relationships
Your woman should protect your public image if she expects people to respect you. She should defend you when others try to tarnish your name. A woman who does this makes people around you jealous of her relationship. Some will even seek relationship tips and advice from both of you.
Source: UGC
24. She supports your dreams
A romantic relationship should be built on mutual support and understanding. You are lucky if you find a woman who believes in you and your dreams and supports you even in your darkest times. Believe in her too, and support her ambitions.
25. You make future plans together
A woman who desires to merge her dreams with yours is a treasure to keep for life. She is selfish and wants the best for both of you. You should trust her with your plans and start building your future together.
26. She sacrifices things for you, and you also do it for her
Someone who makes sacrifices for you gives you an easier time and the peace of mind you need so that you can focus on your goals. A woman makes sacrifices for a man she believes has the potential to go far and support her in the future when he has finally made it in life.
27. She accommodates your weaknesses
We accept one another's imperfections because we all have flaws that drive others crazy. If the lady can adjust to those shortcomings no one would ever tolerate, embrace her weaknesses too. It is pointless to try to change each other or complain about habits neither of you can drop.
28. She shares opportunities and sensible advice with your loved ones
A woman who shares opportunities and practical advice with your loved ones wants them to thrive. She loves you so much that she wants the people you care about to succeed. She will tell them available job and business opportunities, propose the best professionals they can consult, etc.
29. You feel she is your best friend
When you feel worried, anxious, or nervous about something, just like when you feel happy and excited, your first thought is to confide in your partner. Partners are supposed to lift each other without judging. You should be comfortable telling your girlfriend everything in the world and knowing she will be okay with the weirdest stuff.
Source: UGC
30. She gives you sensible advice
A woman who loves you will not sit back and watch you struggle with issues when she knows what you should do to solve them. She will share with you the best way to overcome your challenges.
31. She makes compromises where possible
Someone who loves you makes compromises where possible. She will not always push you to do things differently when she does not like your decisions. On the contrary, she will sometimes make exceptions and support you.
32. You always want to protect each other
Even if she is perfectly capable of standing up for herself, and there are barely any situations when she needs your help, you cannot contain your protectiveness towards her. This happens because she is your girlfriend, and you love her. And she is protective of you for the same reason.
33. She offers positive criticism when you make mistakes
Your woman should understand that you are not perfect and give positive criticism when necessary. She should also have a positive objective when you have a misunderstanding. Instead of judging you for making mistakes, she should propose solutions. A woman should only fight with you if she aspires to put you on the right track but not make you feel guilty or manipulate you.
34. She allows you to have a life outside the relationship
A good woman who loves you will let you explore your career and hobbies, even if it means you are miles away from her. She trusts you and enables you to build meaningful friendships and relationships outside your circle.
35. She is honest about her past and present life, including what she does outside your relationship
If she loves you, she will trust you enough to tell you about her dirty past and difficult times that impacted her current behavior and decisions. She will have male and female friends outside your circle and be honest about their relationships. She will set boundaries with other males and never compare you with any of them.
Source: UGC
How do you know when a woman loves you?
- She has a life outside the relationship.
- She offers positive criticism when you make mistakes.
- You always want to protect each other.
- She makes compromises where possible.
- You feel she is your best friend.
- She shares opportunities and sensible advice with your loved ones.
- She accommodates your weaknesses.
- She sacrifices things for you, and you also do it for her.
- You make future plans together.
- She supports your dreams.
- She gives you sensible advice.
- Your relationship inspires people around you to fall in love and fight for their relationships
- She is proud of you in public and private
- She respects your principles, values, and boundaries
- She often communicates with you and worries when you are out of reach
- She shares financial responsibilities with you.
- She respects and cares for your family and friends.
- She is honest about her past and present life, including what she does outside your relationship.
Ogechukwu highlighted trustworthy signs of genuine love in any relationship or marriage. She said:
- Your partner will not be intimidated by your dreams or plans.
- They will root for you, not cage, limit, or abuse you.
- They will assist and support you in fulfilling your destiny.
Know your values and beliefs so that if someone claims to love you but doesn't align with what you stand for, such as an attitude or happens to be a toxic relationship, it is easy to exit such kind of relationship.
Love is confidence, sacrifice, patience, giving, caring, and empathy. So anyone who does not exhibit any of these signs and wants to "off your light" that God has put in you is a dangerous sign, and I advise people who may be in such a relationship to run for their lives.
How do you know when a woman does not love you?
- You have caught her lying to you many times.
- A woman who is too clingy is obsessed with you and not in love with you.
- She does not miss your affection or spending time with you.
- She is not jealous of you flirting with other women.
- She often flirts with other men.
- She excludes herself from your future plans.
- She talks about her future but does not include you.
- She does not want to meet your friends and family.
- She does not let you meet her family and friends.
- She stays in touch with her exes and lies about it.
- She often compares you with her ex-boyfriends or other men.
- She rarely shows affection for you (body language and expressions) when you are in public.
- She puts other people and things above you.
- She disrespects you in public and in private.
- She hides her troubled and dirty past.
- She takes more than she gives (emotionally, financially, etc.)
- She is cheating on you.
- She does not care much about your interests and hobbies.
When offering guidance on identifying red flags in a relationship, Ogechukwu said that many couples tend to:
- Avoid Problem Resolution: Couples often neglect to find solutions to their issues, ultimately leading to break-ups, separations, or divorces.
- Display Impatience: Spouses may exhibit impatience with each other. She recommended:
If you have a challenge in your relationship or marriage, sit down and ask questions together; it will lead to the root cause of the issues in that relationship/marriage. Even if it gets to the point that you will need to leave that relationship, you won't make such a mistake again because you are now better informed and fully armed to be able to tackle such kind of problem if it ever comes up in the next relationship.
When people get married newly, the first five years are not always rosey - it is a conflict of beliefs, traditions, and customs because everything in our upbringing will show up in our marriage. You must learn to understand each other because marriage is teamwork; you must draw a road map as you are just starting a new family/home.
For example, I grew up in a home where we take birthdays seriously. We throw parties with cakes, jollof rice, and drinks; it is a tradition in my house. However, my husband doesn't celebrate his birthday because that is how he grew up. I first encouraged us to do a photo shoot on our birthdays. Even though he would grumble sometimes, he eventually got used to it; now he celebrates his birthday the same way I like it.
Also, I would take him to a supermarket and buy his birthday cake; even though he might not accept, he would eventually do it, and my children would count down to his birthday for him. Imagine if I came shouting that it is a thing I usually do from childhood, my husband would never have agreed to celebrate his birthday, even to this day, and we would keep fighting and fighting.
Some people don't know what it means to love, such as someone who grew up in a home where both parents were always fighting and quarreling. You can't expect the person to understand what love means, but by the time you begin to show the person what it means to love, they will learn, apart from some unteachable and rigid people.
Also, If the problem is abusive (violent), I always say this: run for your life first; we can always deal with the issues once you have left that relationship. When it involves life, life is more critical because the covenant of life is greater than the covenant of marriage. That God loves marriage doesn't mean you will now die there; anybody who passes (dies) there is not God's desire for that person.
How to maintain healthy relationships
In conclusion, Ogechukwu emphasized the significance of friendship as a crucial tool in every relationship and marriage. She said fostering a friendly connection enables couples to relate, have fun, and build a strong bond. Her advice is:
You have to create that time to be friends as husband and wife; for instance, have date nights, movie nights, take a walk down the street, and drive together. While you are at it, my strong advice is that you have a life. Marriage is good, but there is a reason why we are here beyond marriage, and most of the time, it is women who are mostly affected because they become lonely and sad when their children have left home.
Find your purpose before you get married; there is a dream you are pursuing that gives you fulfillment. Find something to do, and have friends. One day, everyone in the home will go and find their life, so what will you do with your own life? While you are friends with your husband and raising a family, let us find our purpose, pursue it, and hang on to it.
Knowing the good and bad signs to test if your girlfriend loves you will help you choose between building your relationship or letting it go. After learning how to know if your girlfriend loves you, share this information with someone to help them escape a toxic relationship.
READ ALSO: Deep love messages for her: Emotional text messages to girlfriend
Legit.ng shared a collection of messages that will melt her heart. Girls are often more in touch with their romantic side than guys. Sometimes, this leads to differences in what a girl expects from her boyfriend and what she gets.
Love messages are the simplest ways to show affection to a loved one. Have you considered sending your girl messages of love but lack the words? Read the article to find the best love texts for her.
Source: Legit.ng
Regina Stets (SEO writer) Regina has been working as a reporter since 2017. She has written numerous publications on various topics, including celebrities, lifestyle, news, and many more. In addition to writing, she is also an English teacher, translator and a volunteer. Her interests are art, psychology and travelling, and she believes in equal rights for everyone. reginastets@gmail.com
Peris Walubengo (Lifestyle writer) Peris Walubengo is a content creator with 3 years of experience in writing informational and entertainment articles, researching, editing, and proofreading. She has a Bachelor of Commerce & IT from the University of Nairobi (class of 2019). She joined Legit.ng in April 2022. She covers bios, marketing & finance, tech, fashion & beauty, recipes, movies and video game reviews, culture & traveling. In 2023, Peris finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. Email: perisrodah254@gmail.com.
