How to approach a girl for the first time and win her heart
If your question is how can I approach a girl for the first time? Then this is exactly for you. The first approach to a girl can be quite difficult, but we will help you to take this step. Dr. Sam Ayila, a marriage counselor, relationship coach, and sex therapist, provides valuable insights on building confidence and initiating a conversation with a girl you love.
10 tips on how to approach a girl for the first time
When it comes to approaching a girl, many guys become shy, especially if they have never done it before. In many articles, you can read that you must be self-assured or become a macho-alpha-male playboy. But it is clear that it does not work in such way.
First, accept the fact that it's normal, to be afraid of something. A person is always afraid of something new. It doesn't matter how easy it looks, the main thing is that you do this for the first time and it is ok to be afraid. We have prepared for you ten answers to the question "how to approach a girl for the first time?".
These ten ideas will help you overcome the most difficult step in approaching a girl: walking up to her and saying hello.
1. Give yourself a firm promise that you will approach right now
This is probably the most powerful remedy for fear of approach.You made a promise to yourself! If you do not approach now, it turns out that you deceived yourself. Think about it. If you make a promise to your friends and do not do it, then you are ashamed. When you realize the importance of a promise to yourself, you realize that it is very disgusting for you to break it and deceive yourself. It is better to get a refusal than to deceive yourself! Train this sense of self-responsibility.
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2. Cut off the path of retreat
Imagine mentally that after you made a promise to approach, a huge firewall rose behind you. And slowly but surely it comes to you, forcing to go forward as soon as possible, and all you need to get rid of this wall is to say "hello" to a beautiful girl.
3. Remember the rule of three seconds
A very common and very effective rule. The idea is that you mentally give a promise to approach a girl, then count "three, two, one - go". After the word "go", don't think, do not do anything else, just reach your goal. A very simple rule. It comes in handy in many life situations.
4. Do not be afraid of opinions
Speaking of the fear of approach, we are most afraid of the opinions of others. If you come up and talk to a girl, other people will probably think of you approvingly. When they see that you are communicating, they will have no reason to blame you.
5. Use the power of frustration
You feel yourself badly if you are afraid. Use this state, tell yourself that you no longer want to feel that way. Let this frustration become determination.
6. Make a promise
Give a promise to your friends that you will get acquainted with the girl right before their eyes. Then, you have to either disgrace yourself before them or go talk to the girl.
7. Make a Plan b
Do you feel afraid that she might say no to you? It is not a big problem. It's okay if someone does not like you. There are so many people and views, so everyone has their own taste.
8. Plan the first phrase
Just think in advance what you will say to her, after the word "hello". This gives confidence that you have everything under control. It's better not to use templates but to improvise. Don't try to invent anything too convincing, it's obvious when someone is trying too hard.
9. Value any experience, even if it is negative, it is an experience
Understand the important point, gentlemen - people learn from their mistakes. We should realize the importance of a negative experience. Any event can become a lesson for subsequent, more skillful attempts.
10. Do not expect too much
The reason for fear is in expectations and betraying the importance of the approach. It's enough for you to be yourself, if you want to win the heart of a girl, then rely on yourself. Expectations and excessive preparation will make you insincere.
How to build confidence
In an interview with Dr. Sam Ayila, a marriage counselor, relationship coach, and sex therapist, recommendations on how to build confidence before approaching a lady were highlighted. These include:
- You should try to know her interests before you start. It helps to build confidence if you know her area of interest where you will create from.
- Predetermine your approach before you take a step so you won't think of what to say when you reach her.
- Make sure you are sincere with your purpose. Purpose breeds fluency, and fluency of speech relaxes nerves and builds confidence.
- Present yourself just how you are; don't overestimate yourself to impress.
The first approach to a girl
First of all, before the approach, it is better to catch the girl's mood. Maybe she's in a bad mood and she does not want to get acquainted now.
It is necessary to pay attention to external signs. The approach to the girl who is in hurry will be not so successful. Do not stop the hurrying girl, it will be more effective to approach a strolling girl and get acquainted with her. It would be better to establish a visual contact with the girl, and then get acquainted.
How to talk to a girl for the first time
- Straight line approach
A straightforward approach is always relevant. You should approach the girl and directly inform her about your intentions.
- Attentive approach
You can approach a girl more gracefully. To do this, you need to scan the selected girl and find in her behavior or appearance something that you can catch on. Start a conversation with a mention of her features.
- Being smart and resourceful
The approach to the girl may be successful, but if you are interested in continuing the relationship, it is worthwhile to develop yourself.
Do not expect that a beautiful phrase for approach will do everything for you. The most important thing is who you are. You must be filled with qualities that will interest the girl.
Dr. Sam provided practical tips on initiating a conversation to capture the girl's interest immediately. He emphasized that for those aiming to build a serious relationship, it is crucial to take the time to understand her interests thoroughly before making any moves. The expert said:
- Build all your words around her area of interest from the beginning to draw her attention to your conversation.
- Ensure a good sense of humor by being comical and intermittently hyping her during your conversations with her.
- First, you must accept her level and class from the beginning, even if you must initiate means of moving her to your levels much later.
He also provided tips on transitioning from a friendly manner to expressing romantic interest in a girl you love. Dr. Sam said:
Indeed, attempting to switch from a friendly relationship to a romantic one is very intriguing. Sometimes, people start up a relationship and become very friendly with ladies to the point that they relate more like brothers and sisters; so when it is time to switch from a friendly level to a romantic level, it becomes a challenge as the ladies feel they are just relating on a platonic level.
- Predetermine your future plans right from the beginning before you start such relationships so that it will help infuse futuristic characters in your conversation right from the beginning.
- Once in a while, make gestures suggesting you have a future plan for the relationship you are initiating.
- Don't avoid things of romance during your conversations with her occasionally; please let her know what you prefer.
- Don't flaunt any other relationship with her. Make a sense of your comfort around her at all times.
The topics to talk about with a girl
First, we start with the wrong topics to talk with a girl:
- Talk about work or study
People spend most of their time at work or study, this topic is likely bored. Communication should cause joy but not boredom.
- Talk about men's themes
If you like football, then it's better to talk about it with your friends. Suppose a woman tells you about makeup. Will you enjoy this communication? Of course, if your beautiful girl loves football, then it's great, you found a common theme, which you can talk about for a long time.
- Talk only about yourself, show off, ask trivial questions, interrupt a girl.
Communication should take place in such a rhythm: a girl tells a story from her life, you listen carefully, and later you tell something about yourself.
So, what topics for a conversation with a girl can be successful?
- Hobbies. This topic requires a detailed answer and it will be useful for you to find out her interests.
- Traveling. Such topics for talking with a girl can make a return to the past and pleasant memories. She will gladly talk about it.
- Movies - a universal theme. Start with the question: "Have you watched this movie?" You can find out what kinds of films she likes to watch.
- Literature. Ask about her preferences, tell about your impressions of the last book you read. This topic is very extensive.
- Recreation. Find out what does she do on the weekends. In this way, you will learn more about her.
- Friends. Take an interest in who are her friends are and how she treat them?
- Children. She most likely has nephews, younger brothers, sisters. Remembering the children, the girl will tell interesting stories. She will understand that you like children.
- Pets. Girls are very emotional about this topic. Therefore, funny stories about the life of animals will be appropriate.
- Favorite places. Of course, there are places that are pleasant to remember, and the girl with pleasure will tell you about them.
- Food. For example, a lady will tell you that she loves to cook, or what she prefers to eat. This is very useful information for a second date.
So did it work out? Which tips did you like most? Write about your experience below!
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Source: Legit.ng
Adrianna Simwa (Lifestyle writer) Adrianna Simwa is a content writer at Legit.ng where she has worked since mid-2022. She has written for many periodicals on a variety of subjects, including news, celebrities, and lifestyle, for more than three years. She has worked for The Hoth, The Standard Group and Triple P Media. Adrianna graduated from Nairobi University with a Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) in 2020. In 2023, Simwa finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. You can reach her through her email: adriannasimwa@gmail.com
Mary Ugbodaga (Lifestyle Journalist) Mary Ugbodaga is a Legit.ng journalist with 7 years of experience in journalism and media communications. She graduated from Covenant University in 2018 with a Bachelor's degree in Mass Communication/Media Studies. Mary previously worked as a journalist at TheCable, CNBC AFRICA, Voice of Nigeria, KPMG Nigeria. Email: mary.ugbodaga@corp.legit.ng.
